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Chapter Eleven

The sound of running water gradually trickled its way into ain, it seeer than o to her bedroouished inin self-pity

An inner voice whispered that I should go to her To give her the aftercare she so desperately needed But my pride kept me where I was

If I went to her and broke down, as I feared I ht, she would want to knohy a dominant of soher One thing would lead to another and she would discover the truth—that I knew of her long before her application crossed my desk

I waited until the water in her bathrooer before walking into the hall

She was crying

Again

I walked to her door and the crying stopped

I put uilt preventedit I knehat she would look like

Runny nose Wet eyes Tear-streaked cheeks

But worst of all, ould her expression hold? Hatred? Fear? Pain?

If I reached for her, would she shy from my touch? If I talked, would she listen?

I sighed

I couldn’t do it I couldn’t face her

I reached and placed ainst her door

I can’t, Abigail I’ive me

It was too early to go to bed—not even nine o’clock—and the house was too quiet I started to regret ht

I walked into the kitchen and picked up my phone to check on him

“Hello, Mr West,” the receptionist said after I introduced myself “How are you?”

Not in the mood for small talk

“How’s Apollo?” I asked

“He’s doing very well, sir So much better than last time”

I couldn’t even y to be happy

“You’ll be picking him up tomorrow at ten thirty?” she asked

“Yes”

“And you’ll be dropping hiain next Friday” I could hear the s in this weekend, of course”

This here I was to engage in witty banter about football Unfortunately, I had no witty banner in me

“I’ll see you to up

I walked through the house, double-checking locks and security codes I listened for footfalls from upstairs, but none caht, I wanted it to be her

Without thinking, I made my way to the library and ht about how I had wanted the weekend to go If I was lucky and Abigail stayed with me, maybe I would show the library to her later

I sat at the piano, trying to decide what to play The song I’d coail’s beauty, ht did I have after what I’d done?

I had no right

Anger surged throughthe furious notes that pounded through er, but as always, playing helped restore my calm Eventually, the sweetness, the very essence of her took over, and I foundbut allow it to overtake me

I wasn’t a coward, I told ail time Time for what, I couldn’t say I only kneasn’t ready to face her, and I suspected she felt the same

I left the house shortly after six and drove into the city toI thought back to the note I’d left in the kitchen Would Abigail have found it? Would she still be at my house when I returned at noon?

I had to talk to sorabbedI hadn’t done in months—I called Paul

“Hello,” a cheerful feminine voice said on the other end of the line

“Christine, hello,” I said “It’s Nathaniel” Christine and Paul had been married for three years She was also his submissive

“Nathaniel It’s been too long”

“I know,” I said, still not ready for small talk “Is Paul around?”

“He’s right here Hold on”

I heardand then the unmistakable sound of a kiss

“Nathaniel,” Paul said “What’s going on?”

It all caail, that she was inexperienced, that I’d taken her on as a submissive, and finally I went into the details of the previous night—the rules I had, how she’d broken one, the punishment

The entire time, Paul let me talk and made appropriate comments Yes, the punishment had been needed Yes, it was always hard to punish a sub Yes, I was noret over it Yes, our relationship would only grow from here

Trust Paul to know exactly what I needed I felt better within minutes

“What did you do for aftercare?” he asked

“I’ I realized my mistake as soon as the words left my mouth

“I got that,” he said “What did you do for her last night?”

I couldn’t talk For the first time in my life, I had no words

“Nathaniel,” he said as the silence dragged on “Please tellway How did the aftercare go?”

“I didn’tI meanI couldn’t”