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Chapter 1

Maisie

“I want to be ruined by him”

“Dicked down until I can’t walk”

“He’s the type of guy that you should apologize to if he cheats”

“That’s going a little far, isn’t it?” I ask, trying for a mild tone sinceover guys

All the girls’ eyes at the table swing toward me

“Maisie, are you blind?” nation colors every word “Mack Castillo is the reason I’ chemistry I can’t concentrate on the lecture I actually created an Instagra him and if there isn’t a new selfie every day, my day is ruined” She says it like that’s not the least bit crazy

“Look at hiet her vows,” chimes in my roommate Dally She waves her hand in Mack’s direction “He has it all He’s tall with the perfect kind of muscles—the ones that are defined but not so enormous that it looks fake His face is literally perfect”

All the girls nod vigorously in agreey class and the professor had him stand up in the front and used him as an example of a symmetric face Both sides of his face are exact replicas of the other Plus, the distance from his eyes to his mouth is precisely one-third of his face So, basically science agrees with us He’s the hottestscience to prove her point

I taplook at the object ofthree tables away Mack is everything that my friends said he was—tall, muscular, with a face that doesn’t make me want to puke Still, I feel un dicked down until I can’t walk sounds uncomfortable and not sexy

I try to envision hie of the last unsolicited dick pic I received flashes in front of na starts to climb up my throat and I hastily avert

“Oh my God,” Becky whisper-screams “I think he just winked at you”

“He’s getting up,” hisses Heidi

“He’s walking this way!” Dally nearly shouts I’m not sure if that’s panic or excitement in her tone

I want to sink into the floor

“If he asks you out, you have to say yes Say yes, go ho,” Heidi breathes into my ear That sounds horrible on every level

I close my eyes and send out a prayer to the universe Please let it be that he’s just walking to get more milk If he does stop at our table, have him talk to Dally Heidi’s taken so Dally or Becky can have him Just not m—

“Hey, Maisie, right? I think we had calc last semester”

I know I should smile, raise my head, and shake this boy’s hand, but I don’t want to I don’t want this kind of forced interaction Why is he co over here simply because I looked at hi him, like a scientist would inspect an insect Be nice, I can hearto be nice

Actually, it costs ood ive the boy a nod

“Yes, calc It was terrible” I suck at ain

“Oh, I didn’t know you hated it You should’ve said so I could’ve helped you out” His eyes twinkle in a way that I think I’ but it onlyat his stubble Why do guys think that’s attractive? It looks like dirt stuck to his skin “Any math subjects this semester?”

I force myself to pay attention and not be rude “No I plan to live my life in such a way that I will never need to do any calculations that are beyond the scope of my phone’s calculator”

Mack throws back his head and hoith laughter I look to my friends to find out what’s so funny but they’re du Mack is hooked and now is the tinorance It’s tiets any bad ideas The last guy that I turned down lit a bottle of Coors Light on fire and threw it at the front door of my house The landlord wasn’t very happy and it took a lot of cajoling along with one ofme and Dally out

“That’s cute,” Mack says after his chortling winds down

“You’re cute,” Becky replies “Isn’t he?”

Everyone choruses, “Hell, yes” Even the girl at the next table over They are all in agreement when it comes to Mack’s level of attraction I remain quiet

Becky kicks h

“Ow” I cast a dark look atme like normal, but nod because I don’t want to have two sore shins “Yes, very cute” Even saying the words sounds weird on my lips I know he can tell my response is forced and I’m okay with that My plan is to say whatever it is that I need to so that he’ll go away as soon as possible

Mack shs I swear for a second he’s alirl reacts to him besides irl sitting at my favorite table, which is tucked into the corner I love that spot because it’s peaceful and overlooks the pretty garden the horticulture club works so hard to keep up Star looks like a flower fro at that particular table She has things scattered all over the table and it looks as though sheIt’s hard for me to tell from this distance

I sigh, putting irl has been either reading or drawing in her notebook Noon in the world, Star seeht in the quad a couple weeks ago between two guys I can’t re related to uy open a door for uy do the saardless, it happened right in front of Star and the girl never looked up frouys to the bench beside her I would love to reach that level of unbothered

I channel a little inner Star and pick up my tray “Nice to meet you Good luck in your future math classes”

I practically sprint to the exit, shoving the tray onto the discard asseot h the s and see

that Mack is still withani to make a little space between thehten Maybe he’s asking Dally out

“U the door,” a voice says behind me

I whirl around to see Star glaring at ht red “I-I’m sorry”