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Mynot to laugh ‘Elbow grease never did anyone any harm, Ivy,’ he said, with barely suppressed mirth

I took the spray bottle from Eve and passed it to hi, you can sort this out’

‘I can’t I have to call the Order and warn theain entry, they need to know straight away’ He hurried out of the room

I sighed ‘Two days ago all he wanted to do was clean I should have stayed ill for a bit longer’

Eve looked almost as amused as Winter had ‘Who’s Blackbeard?’ she asked

I gri story’

Brutus got to his feet and stretched out before turning towards us and yawning pointedly ‘Bitch,’ he hissed

‘I’ home,’ Eve said hastily

I waved a hand at her ‘Yeah, that’s probably a good idea’

She flashed me a quick slared at Brutus ‘You made everyone run away’

I could swear he shrugged Ju hiain

I crouched down and scratched him behind his ears ‘I’m sorry,’ I said ‘I didn’t ht I did miss you a lot’

Brutus sniffed and gave me a head butt He let out the tiniest purr

‘You shouldn’t have done that in here, though We all live here It’s not just your hoed to ic instead of brain power to coot not just the entire school but the entire town evacuated because of dangerous tremors, I pasted on a suitably serious but sad expression ‘I expected more from you It’s not that I’m surprised, Brutus It’s that I’m disappointed’

His head drooped as if in apology ‘Miaow’

I wiggled a finger in my ear ‘Pardon?’

Brutus slowly looked up at me, his yellow eyes wide and liain, although this time there was a hint of desperation to the action I nodded, satisfied Brutus understood that what he’d done rong and that he shouldn’t do it again It was the best I could ask for He tilted his head to one side and blinked slowly atcat, he could do cute when he wanted to

‘I wouldn’t have stayed away if it wasn’t important,’ I told him ‘And you had Eve You like her And Princess Parma Periwinkle’

His tail began to flick dangerously from side to side ‘Love Ivy,’ he said

My heartall pretence that I wasn’t his slave, I did the one thing that I’d pro for the pee which you’ve left behind, would you like some food? Some tuna treats?’

Brutus purred Yeah, no surprise there then

I got hiobbled the treats down at breakneck speed, I flicked out a quick rune to diht in ht It was the fastest way to locate where exactly Brutus had peed There were probably just a few spatters somewhere in the corner I just had to… My mouth dropped open

Winter, wandering back in, stopped in his tracks and stared at the wall ‘Is that…?’

I folded rimly The little shit ‘Brutus!’ I yelled

He ca finished his treats in record time No wonder; if I’d seen this, I’d have denied him tuna until his next life He sat down in the lanced up to admire his handiwork There, across my entire wall, sprayed in cat pee was the word ‘bitch’

In the corner, the old cobweb-covered woman appeared She craned her neck, took in the full effect of what Brutus had achieved and started to cackle loudly I sighed I was being driven out of hosts and cat piss

‘Screw this,’ I said to Winter ‘Let’s go catch ourselves a serial killer’