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Unfortunately, the old ghost seemed to have other ideas ‘You!’ He finally spotted me and sto he was hovering about an inch off the floor ‘What did you do?’

I looked into Winter’s face and smiled, then took a slurp of stew The potato was tender and the faint hint of rosemary, combined with the way theto enjoy this I was not going to pay the da

‘I’! I was here and then I wasn’t here It wasn’tmade me leave’ His eyes flicked suspiciously from side to side ‘Except I don’t knohere I left to’

I took another mouthful ‘Mmm This is delicious’

The ghost snapped his attention back tofro me!’ he hissed ‘You know I can’t eat You know I can’t taste anything That steas enerations and you’re using it to make me feel inferior Well, wait until you’ve been dead for fifty years, Missy! Wait until you’re trapped on this plane and you have to watch idiots treat your family inn like soh when they used to allowNow they let people like you inside!’

‘I hate karaoke too,’ I h another delicious mouthful

Winter glanced at me ‘Ghost?’

‘Yeah He’s pissed off They’re all pissed off’

‘Pissed off?’ the man shrieked ‘Pissed off? I’ll show you pissed off’ He leapt onto the table between Winter and myself

‘Go away,’ I told him ‘I’ll talk to you when I’ve finished my dinner’ I checked the clock on the wall ‘Twenty minutes If you’ve been here for fifty years, I’ about the art of patience You can wait that long’

‘Oh, I’ve learnt plenty about patience, Missy,’ the ghost sneered ‘Mostly that it’s over-rated Don’t worry though I kno to get you to finish up quickly’ He started unbuttoning his trousers

I sighed ‘If you think thatto put me off my food, you underestimate how many hairy bottoms I’ve seen in my tis to theto work’

He snorted ‘You lack iination’ He took out a flaccid, pale penis, directed in doards and, hat I could only describe as a contented sigh, began to pee

I slowly put downon the table in front of host pee It wouldn’t taste of anything – it probably didn’t even exist Not in any real sense anyway All the saer wanted to eat a thing

‘What’s wrong, Ivy?’

‘Nothing’ I crossed host

‘Why are you looking at me like that?’ Winter said

‘It’s not you I’ at’

The ghost sot your attention now, haven’t I?’

‘Do yourself up,’ I snapped ‘If you want to talk, damn well talk’