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President?

No one had gone bananas, not in that way at least

Only six people in the entire Galaxy understood the principle on which the Galaxy was governed, and they knew that once Zaphod Beeblebrox had announced his intention to run as President it was more or less a fait accompli: he was the ideal Presidency fodder1

What they co it

He banked sharply, shooting a all of water at the sun

Today was the day; today was the day when they would realize what Zaphod had been up to Today hat Zaphod Beeblebrox's Presidency was all about Today was also his two hundredth birthday, but that was just another less coincidence

As he skipped his boat across the seas of Daran he s day it was going to be He relaxed and spread his two arms lazily across the seat back He steered with an extra arht one to help i

"Hey," he cooed to hi a song shriller than a dog whistle

The island of France was about twenty , five miles across the middle, sandy and crescent shaped In fact it seeht as sie bay This ihtened by the fact that the inner coastline of the crescent consisted almost entirely of steep cliffs From the top of the cliff the land sloped slowly down five miles to the opposite shore

On top of the cliffs stood a reception committee

It consisted in large part of the engineers and researchers who had built the Heart of Gold--mostly humanoid, but here and there were a few reptiloid atoalacticans, an octopoid physucturalist or two and a Hooloovoo (a Hooloovoo is a super-intelligent shade of the color blue) All except the Hooloovoo were resplendent in their multi-colored ceremonial lab coats; the Hooloovoo had been te prism for the occasion

There was a ether and between theone to and beyond the furthest limits of physical laws, restructured the fundamental fabric of matter, strained, twisted and broken the laws of possibility and ireatest excitee sash round his neck (An orange sash hat the President of the Galaxy traditionally wore) It ht not even have made much difference to them if they'd known exactly how much power the President of the Galaxy actually wielded: none at all Only six people in the Galaxy knew that the job of the Galactic President was not to wield power but to attract attention away from it

Zaphod Beeblebrox was aood at his job

The crowd gasped, dazzled by sun and seemanship, as the Presidential speedboat zipped round the headland into the bay It flashed and shone as it ca turns

In fact it didn't need to touch the water at all, because it was supported on a hazy cushion of ionized atoms--but just for effect it was fitted with thin finblades which could be lowered into the water They slashed sheets of water hissing into the air, carved deep gashes into the sea which swayed crazily and sank back foa into the boat's wake as it careered across the bay

Zaphod loved effect: it hat he was best at

He twisted the wheel sharply, the boat slewed round in a wild scything skid beneath the cliff face and dropped to rest lightly on the rocking waves

Within seconds he ran out onto the deck and waved and grinned at over three billion people The three billion people weren't actually there, but they watched his every gesture through the eyes of a small robot tri-D camera which hovered obsequiously in the air nearby The antics of the President always ly popular tri-D; that's what they were for

He grinned again Three billion and six people didn't know it, but today would be a bigger antic than anyone had bargained for

The robot camera homed in for a close up on the hly humanoid in appearance except for the extra head and third arm His fair tousled hair stuck out in rando completely unidentifiable, and his chins were almost always unshaven

A twenty-foot-high transparent globe floated next to his boat, rolling and bobbing, glistening in the brilliant sun Inside it floated a wide selorious red leather: the lobe bobbed and rolled, the more the sofa stayed perfectly still, steady as an upholstered rock Again, all done for effect as

Zaphod stepped through the wall of the globe and relaxed on the sofa He spread his two ar the back and with the third brushed so; he put his feet up At any ht scream

Water boiled up beneath the bubble, it seethed and spouted The bubble surged into the air, bobbing and rolling on the water spout Up, up it clied on the jet, the water falling fro back into the sea hundreds of feet below

Zaphod s himself