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I scowl, because yeah, sometimes she does, and who cares? She’s bored out of herseventy hours a week

His last idea was to buy an RV and drive it across the United States, but she quickly put the kibosh on that idea“So okay, you met this chick where?”

“On a dating app called LoveSwept That’s like, the non-hooking up app for professionals”

“Sure, sure, I’ve heard of it I think My cousin just got engaged to someone she met on Sparks, except I’h that? You know, like dick pics”

“I got what you meant”

No ould I ever do that The thought of so a screenshot of my nads? No thanks Besides, enic are out of their delusional fucking minds

“Anyway — New Year’s Eve, huh?”

The server chooses thatit in front of us before asking if we need anything else and walking away

“Yeah — N Y E” I dip one of the fried pickle chips into the ranch dressing, blow on it before popping it inmy taste buds SHIT THAT’S HOT “Except, she doesn’t actually know ht be weird at the beginning to be like, ‘Hey, my name is Harrison, haha’”

This interestsway “What did you tell her your name is?”

I shrug “Steve”

“Eh,” he says “I don’t blame you It’s way too easy to find people online and shit You wanna ood details I get it”

“Exactly It’s not like doing a search for Harrison McGinnis is going to turn up tons of otherduck”

“You’re a genius” He’s biting into his brat, but because we don’t have all the ti the breeze, he powers on, even with aand I will join you Where is your date?”

“The hell if I’ you!”

“Why?” He pretends to be insulted

“Because of what you just said — joining us! I do not need an audience when I’ an ass of myself”

“Just don’t wear that outfit tonight, or she’s going to think you’ve spent the day cruising around the block in your Losermobile”