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The first time it happened, he tied ht off because he didn't care to lift it He pinned me face down on the desk in the cold room where he kept me He ripped my panties clean from my body and slaht tears to my eyes

I re me that I was a dirty slut, that I wanted it, liked it, needed it I hated every second of it I struggled at first, any woman would But it ht

As soon as he was ready to come, he pulled out, turned me around and come all over me like the whore he said I was

Then he passed ain I thought it would never end that night For hours they stayed in that roo me

It happened every day with Crack after that night until I was rescued I am so ashamed to say that once, I'et away froasan But the fact is he didhow badly I wanted his cock

The second he was out of the door, I vo moment that I was dead

I have never been able to get that out of my head I've never been able to understand why it happened, why o It's said that even when being raped a wo to her or that she's enjoying it, but because it is a natural reaction Your body goes in to fight or flight asm in her sleep

It does not avebut

But how can I explain that to Hammer?

What if he thinks I wanted it?

Have more faith in the man you love, Willow He would never think that about you But if you're so worried, talk to your moh this If you don't talk about it, you will never be free

I know I know

A hot shower and change of clothes later and I' doesn't feel right It's nothing to do with the nightmares and what happened toa little bit freaked about what's going on with the club right now

I haven't seen Ha without good reason Or some reason to placate the wo

Why won't they tell me?

Even when I try to call hiet no answer

I' andMy sto over and over, I feel really sick Like really sick

I throw back the covers and jump out of bed, one hand on my mouth I make it to the toilet just in time to vomit It hurts my throat in ways it never has before With my hand around my throat, my scar burns beneath it

Have I done this toabout the past?

Great

The vo finally ends and I sink back on ainst the wall I feel out of breath, out of sorts My sto that didn't agree with

I need my mom

I' shoot me

After brushingmyself to her room I knock on Moainst the doorframe I don't know if Shepard is home and I don't want to wake him if he is, but I want my mom

Yeah, I'irl, always have been She'swith fever I', I can tell I don't want to be ill right now, and , but it see over very quickly

“Mom?” I call a little louder

The door unlocks and opens toon her robe I woke her, I didn't ?”

Iwell The one that says, Hold me in your arms, Mommy Hold me and make me feel better the way only you can