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Still, no matter what he's done to me, I will never turn my back on him He's my friend That's all we should ever have been Friends Yes, he's hurt me badly with his lies and deceit, but I can't force myself to turn my back on him I won't I don't care what anyone thinks of me for that I'll never take hie soiven him a piece of my mind

“Ha! This is ive it a rest”

“Oh et aith it” I rolla headache “You're gonna take hiirl”

“It's not really any of your business whether she takes him back or not”

“Thank you, Tessa” At least so to me

Tessa is Ace's old lady Tessa is e, but she loves him and that's all that er than she's been with Ace

“That's not to say I think you should take the idiot back”

What is this? Pick on Willow day?

“Babe, he's no good for you I've been telling you for years Ree and you had that crush on him? I told you then not to be with him”

I couldn't help having a crush on Trace, back then, he was so handsome, so funny, so smart We both wanted to be lawyer's back then No, correction Jordan's parents forced hi a laasn't for ed tact I took a literacy course instead I love to write I also really wanted to be a teacher, I worked hard to be one, I' hard at it

Anyway, I could see Jordan wasn't happy doing what he was doing back then His jokes and pranks on friends were just his way ofhis unhappiness I made him see that he didn't need to be anyone but who he was That he had to do what ree in law, but never put it to use He joined the Snakes instead

His parents were not happy at all They haven't been the same with him since But Jordan – Trace – is happier than he's ever been But there's still so inside that makes him act the way he does I honestly believe he has sonosed behavioral problem

“I get it, okay? I shouldn't be with hi to be with hih to stay with the o, ere just holding on to I don't even knohat But he's ardless of what he's done, and I won't turn my back on him!” Each one of them huffs in annoyance I don't expect the told what I should and shouldn't do How I should and shouldn't feel

“Can you all just back off, I've had enough of this shit to last a lifetirooman, I can take care ofTrace around!”

“He was just looking out for you”

“Well, I don't need hi”

“You and he would be so good together”

“No,” I cutthere with them “There will never be any him and me, okay? In my mind, he will always be my best friend's old ain?”

I' on and on at ht with Jordan There is no me and Hammer!

I didn't stay long with the girls,ho hot bubble bath That's why I spent ten minutes with my little niece and left This is what I needed, to soak in the hot water in my tub

Jordan hasn't been in contact withme or whether or not the boys hurt him I don't like the idea of either of those scenarios No, I don't want hiood this tiet hurt either

I don't want Shepard to outcast him from the club That's what I told my Dad when he called to say he wanted to see s, that I'd see hiry with Jordan for what he did, but I don't want hiet to where he is He's dedicated to the club and the brothers, God knows he's never hadto in his life I don't want anyone to treat him differently All I want is for us to part aain after what he's done, but that doesn't mean I want to ruin his life either

I sound like a stupid doormat Trust me, I am no door I'm hurt, but if he kne I've loved another man for months, he'd be just as hurt I may not have cheated on Jordan physically, but I did mentally plenty of times

Does that make me as bad as him?

Anyway, Dad was angry but promised he wouldn't throw Jordan out of the club, however, he'd be on probation for the next feeeks

I left Jordan a voices through I don't just want to walk aithout knohy he did this toto sit here and bash myself over a relationship that never really worked We've both done things we shouldn't have At least I can say I never physically cheated But I think we should've realized the first ti to work out I don't think I ever really iven him a second chance

I close ainst the tub I tied h bun before I climbed into the hot water All I wanted was to relax And relaxing right now feels so good Mylike crazy today