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I knew right then that they were going to take my baby away from me, and I swear, my heart cracked in places it has never recovered from

‘What do you want irl fro yourself even to say the name of?’

‘Because every time I look at her all I see is that irl!’

I didn’t really understand my mother’s heartbreak back then I didn’t knohy she couldn’t bring herself to even look at my baby She never once said her name, never touched her even when I asked if she’d like to hold her It would make me cry because I wanted everyone to love her as much as I did

But only Cindy ever smiled at my baby and told her that she loved her She was just ten years old, but she loved hter and wanted to hold her all the time, and I let her because at least someone cared

‘I want you to call Shepard, Colin Have him come here and take the baby I don’t want to hurt Coral, but she’ll understand that it’s best for the child if she lives with a fa she deserves We can’t do that here, not when I resent her oes by’

‘It’s not that baby’s fault that her father did what he did She’s innocent, Dawn’

‘I know that Colin, believewe don’t love her It’s not that I don’t, I do, she’s part of us just as Coral is But Coral and the baby deserveafter Coral is my child, Colin I need to take care of her’

I shut out their words after that My heart was breaking, nothing would mend it, and as I sat on my bed with my baby in my arms, I letinto the rooistered in both their minds that I'd heard them

‘Mommy, please don’t take her away fro ood baby, she hardly ever cried, and I took such good care of her I didn’t understand why I wasn’t a good enough mother in my own mother’s eyes

I kno that wasn’t the case, but it hurt so much nonetheless

Myfrom her blue eyes as she stroked the back ofthis to hurt you, Coral That is the last thing I want, but you’re just a child You can’t take care of her permanently You have school, Daddy and I have to work, we can’t afford to pay someone to take care of her while we’re not here She needs a family who can be there for her all the time’

I turned hter and kissed her head as she sucked on her tiny little pacifier, her little jaw ain

My father crouched down in front ofmy vision to him ‘You are a wonderful irl, and I know you hat’s best for her, don’t you?’

I nodded my head The truth was, I did as best for her I thought at that moment that maybe I wasn’t as best for her I couldn’t afford to buy her the things she deserved I couldn’t have saved e I’d never have been able to finish school, which e, and thatWe’d end up poor and in some dump of a place to live because I knew my parents would never afford to be able to keep us indefinitely Which hter wouldn't have the kind of childhood she deserved

Even at the age of thirteen, I knew no child should ever have to grow up like that Cindy and I had a good childhood We weren’t rich, but we had everything we needed Hoould I be able to give my baby the same?

My heart hurt so ht, Elisha deservedI couldn’t I had to do as best for hter So that’s what I did, and it didn’t matter how much it hurt me to do so

‘You will make sure they’re nice people, won’t you? I don’t want her to go to people on’t love her the way I do’

‘They’ll be the best there is, Coral, I promise you that’

‘How long do I have left with her?’ I sed back a sob I could see the pain inhim to see me so upset

‘I’ll call Shepard in the irl I don’t want to hurt you, but the longer we drag this out, the harder it will be to let go’