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He holds up his bottle “Cheers, and congrats on an awesoame”

I lift lad you were able to come”

Dad’s expression turns thoughtful, his a up”

I don’t kno to respond because there’s no etic tone in his words Does he want some type of absolution?

“Nah,” I draith a wave of my hand

“Missed sowith mine “You see, son, when you’re faced with death, you reflect on your life, and all of the regrets start pushing their way to the surface I just need you to knowit’s a big regret of uess you’d say That I didn’t spend enough time with you as a dad should with his son I always put work first, and wellif I could change that, I would But I can’t, so the next best thing is to tell you I’m sorry for it”

“Dad,” I say, but my voice cracks I don’t want to have this conversation, not because it’s difficult for me to handle, but because I don’t want his last days—precious hours andbad about his choices

He holds up a hand, indicating that he wants me to listen “The hospice nurse spent a lot of ti to happen There’s no telling how fast it’s going to co unsaid So, over the next few daysweekswhatever I have left, I s It’s important to me”

I s hard past the lue to croak, “Yeahof course, Dad”

And thus, I learn a lesson You hear it all the time Many people say it, but reallyit’s never impacted me much

Don’t take a single ranted

The regretin, and without any ti to watch The least I can do for him is listen when he wants to unburden hi pulled a double shift to cover a co-worker struck with the sto up to help out with things like that because wellkar around, and I don’t want to offend her

The hot shower I just took didn’t refresh , and I should listen

Instead, I pull on a pair of worn jeans, a T-shirt, and a pair of sandals I give h dry and, because there’s a chance that Rafe will be there, I put on soloss

Yes, I’ over to his parents’ house because I want to check in on Brenda and Ji set up andon lip gloss and mascara because Rafe will probably be there is like a pebble stuck inas hell that I even care what he thinks about my looks because I’m absolutely not interested in him in that way

Not really

I meanI appreciated his intervention with Grant the other day, even though I was equally annoyed that he thought it was his place to step in And I have to ad what he’s getting ready to go through with his dadti about that experience, it did help me become the woman I am today

I’ht—hello, Grant—I cut that shit out of my life because I know I’m better than that I deserve more than the way Rafe dumped me or the way Grant treated me—as if I was a lesser, second-rate person ender

Mostly, though, I’ain—because we are getting ready to share a loss together I love his dad, not as much as he does and in a different way, but the Simmonses are part of my family unit I’ve been involved heavily in Jim’s most recent medical issues, they’ve turned to me for explanation and co forward In my heart, I want to offer the same to Rafe because I can’t bear to think of the pain he’ll be facing and thusI have to put aside the bitter feelings I’ve clearly been harboring all these years

So I leave my apartment and make the short drive to the Simmonses’ house Because I want to be there for all of the to do with karma It has to do with love