page77 (1/1)

Exactly in that order

I hope to fuck this isn’t the alcohol talking and that I actually have the balls to enact this plan when I’ up to the front door of the Cresson, I make some mental calculations on how to best parcel out ht to San Francisco that leaves tonight and I most definitely have to do laundry It’s been just over a week since I was supposed to do my laundry at Erik’s house and I still haven’t been motivated to do it But I used o to the store and buy new clothes, which is a terrible waste of money that I can’t afford

I decide after I visit Billy for a few hours, I’ll hit up the laundro in the backseat ofmost of the day at the hospital with Billy, I took the early evening to go to Erik’s house Letting iven me, I removed all ofhteous indignation that had been born out of treuilt

The formula was really quite simple

I was horribly ashaain so I letthat call I held onto that anger for only about two days, which was right around the ti that two days, I ignored communications froer toward him than at myself

But I still always held the guilt close toErik the way I did I still think it was the right decision, because ultimately I did it so as to not have to choose between the two men that I love

And yes…I love Erik

But he deserves better than soest, kindest heart I know, and I know this because he would—without grudge or hesitation—let ladly take a backseat for me, so I could maintain my own sense of accomplishment with my brother

He absolutely doesn’t deserve that from a woman

Which is all moot I’m quite sure Erik probably hates ht to do so I was so unfair to hiive hi that very night fronored it, ain Sary…that seemed like another betrayal to Billy

Ugh…it’s all so complicated

I pull the door open a little too hard, but lares at me, which isn’t exactly fair Granted, she thinks Erik walks on water and all that, but I don’t deserve her wrath She’s been that way the last three days when she asked where Erik was and how come he hadn’t been by to visit Billy

When I informed her we’d broken up, she stood up from behind her desk, put her hands on her hips and asked, “Why?”

I was so stunned by her nosiness, I didn’t think to lie I merely replied, “Because I felt it was best we not see each other anymore”

Since then, I haven’t seen a smile from her

I ignore it, though, and head to the elevator, intent on one for a couple days on this charter job If Erik kneas taking jobs froain, he’d be pissed But I have no choice I had to quit working for the Vengeance because there was absolutely no way I could work in close proxito have to take as s from mom’s life insurance until my father’s comes in

When I exit the elevator and move toward Billy’s roo froh I can’t h the half-open door

I step inside and co in one of the two guest chairs positioned between a square table He’s leaning casually into his seat with one ankle propped on a knee His gaze slides toin his motorized chair pulled up to the table, hovered over a puzzle He loves doing them and it helps with his fine motor skills