page36 (1/2)

"More whiskey?" I hear fro into the kitchen Just over his shoulder, I can see the rest of our ivesto Caroline, who has her arlass of wine

"Well, we are celebrating, right?" I ask with a laugh, and set the glasses on the counter while I reach for the bottle of Jack

"That we are," he agrees as he goes to the fridge to pull out another beer

As I pour the a hangover, Dennis walks over toup okay?"

I give him a quick look and then back to the pour "Of course Why wouldn't I be?"

His voice lowers and he says, "It's justhave you even processed what happened with JT? Thingscaught"

Slick, icy fingers grab ahold ofshivers upward untilpeople, and honestly, I hadn't realized I hadn't processed what I did until I watched that video thisthat letter opener I didn't need that grisly moment stamped upon my memory

Having lived through the actual horror, I just didn't need the reminder

I set the bottle down and recap it, turning to face hiainst the counter I have no proble to hi a hu in this world, would feel so--so--"

"Burdensouesses

Yes

Burdensome That's exactly it

"I feel like I'll have a reckoning one day because it rong," I tell hi that wasn't within her power or what, but I have this feeling--just deep in ut--that says I've been tainted by it And I haven't really understood that feeling until just now Because I didn't have time to think about it before"

Dennis nods, his eyes soulful and full of grave understanding "I think the guilt is a cooing to feel it"

"Will it go away?" I ask hi if perhaps my penance is to always feel it

He shrugs "I don't know It's not an e"

I blink at hi you're not a good person Look at everything you've done for Beck andto put yourself at cri that video if the ADA didn't dises"

Dennis gives a low laugh, his eyes shining with a teeth

"I don't understand," I say, because I know he's gently

"Sela, with ed with anything," he says quietly Not in an egotistical, I'm-above-the laay, but in a way that says simply I'm the man who's sold his soul to the devil, and with that sacrifice also coreat rewards

Potentially evil rewards, but great nonetheless

I shake my head at hi less than a good man"

He smiles at ," he says before he heads back into the party "Don't ever forget what that fuck did to you The pain he caused The innocence he destroyed Go back to that anger and let it help fill part of that deep pit of guilt you're developing, because by lad you did it"

My s open silently as he walks pastabout his wife and revenge and how good it ue with him, because that's not me

But deep down I know there's so another life, but I'one fro woman out there is safer

I'll let that thought soothe et down on myself

"That was a deep conversation," I hear fro into the kitchen