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For one brief, glorious oes white onOne tiny blessed mo to acknowledge what she's just told me

Then everything turns red and lavalike rage sizzles within my veins

"Motherfucker!" I screa I bend down, put my hands under the heavy coffee table, and heave it up and over where it crashes loudly against the hardwood floor "Jesus fucking Christjust no!"

I wheel on Sela, my hands curled into fists and de lie"

She doesn't respond but just looks at me with sympathy She doesn't need to defend her statement I can see the truth in her eyes

"I'm sorry, Beck," is all she says

I spin back away from her, sidestep the overturned table, and stalk across the living roo my arms over my chest, I stare bleakly out over the darkened waters of the bay and let the weight of this revelation start to drown me

JT raped my sister

Drugged her--most likely at the Christmas party--then ambushed her

And then that fucker s inside over that little tidbit of information

And JesusJT is Ally's father

Sela's arms wrap around me from behind, her body warm as she presses into my back and squeezes me in comfort "I'm so sorry, baby So damn sorry"

I drophtly as she holdsht this moment

I thought I hated JT beforewhen I knehat he did to Sela

But nowI didn't know such an ugly emotion could exist inside of a hu, which seee turns into a dark fore coating and da my soul

I struggle against it

"Tell ain about how you killed JT," I murmur as I look out the s "Tellinto his neck"

"Beck," Sela whispers in ado there

Black, bubbling, putrid, roiling hatred for JT

"Tell e her "Do you think he was in pain? Do you think he was afraid when he realized he was dying?"

She's silent for a moment but then she tells me what I need to hear, even if it's not true "Yes He was terrified at the end"

My lips curl upward and the oily darkness rueance Sela delivered

"Good," I whisper in relief "That's real good Now tell me more"

My gut was telling me that Beck needed to know the truth about Caroline and JT I was sure it was the right thing to do But his reactionthe bleak despair retto cause pain to so I can do to take it back

When Caroline was raped, Beck stepped up to the plate and took control He was able to use his love and strength to help her get through it While it could never remove the pain that event caused, Beck's ability to support his sister also provided an a for himself

But now that he knows it was JT who did it?

He has no way to purge the feelings or s better in his mind The most I could offer hi of the grisly way in which I murdered his sister's rapist It was a h

Beck left the apart on a pair of jeans, a T-shirt, and a sweatshirt, saying he had things to do

I didn't like the sound of that so I asked, "What kinds of things?"