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Our "connection" is gone, and I'm terrified that we may have a deep fracture between us that can't be repaired

I can hear Jaiht sleeper, I know at thisup in our bed Not even the prospect of Santa Claus coh to rouse Cannon from his sound sleep, so I know Zach will stop off in his room to wake him up

I'm sure Zach will be surprised to findperson, but Christmas is always different There's always a hum of excitement that seems to buzz within my veins, made eveninto it Jaime's still not quite sure about the concept of Santa Claus, but Cannon was so excited he was beside hiht He ood enough all year to warrant presents

The tiny patter of feet coaze, and I see Cannon skid to a halt before the tree His eyes are wide and disbelieving as he takes in all the presents I had actually wrapped all the gifts froold foil paper and dressed thereen for Cannon

"Are those all forto turn his face from the bounty

"Santa left a note and said the ones with the green bows are for you and the red bows are for Jaime"

He looks slightly disappointed to have to share with his sister, but then he drops to his knees with eagerness sparkling in his eyes

"Let's wait for Jaime," I tell him, and I see a look of torture roll across his face "I can hear Daddy getting her up now"

Turning, I set my coffee cup on the table beside the couch and then walk over to Cannon I sit down beside hireen board est as I hand it to him

Poor Cannon looks ready to pee his pants as he takes the box, but his little bladder is saved as Zach walks into the living roo Jai, "Santa, Santa, Santa"

"Here," Zach says as he bends over and passes Jaime to me I settle her on my lap and watch as Zach sits on the opposite side of Cannon

Jaiets yelled at by Cannon "That's mine!"

"Hey," Zach chides as he puts Cannon in a light headlock and pulls him into his side He kisses him on the head--which never fails to warht come and take these back"

I gently pull the box away from Jaime and hand her one with a red bow "The red ones are for you," I tell her, but she's too young to understand colors, so I'll have tolittle hands

Both kids tear into the paper, Cannon unfurling his prize first a Transforlee and starts to open the box

"Wait a minute, kiddo," Zach says softly "How about rap everything first, then you can play with all the toys after Okay?"

Cannon grins, and Zach starts handing out the presents

For the next twenty , and cries of joy from the kids Zach and I just lean back and watch it all unfurl, stupid grins on our faces, and I' more out of this than the kids It's our one opportunity every year to truly spoil theuilt

While the kids play with their new toys and Zach cleans up the paper, I make some cinnamon rolls for breakfast It takes soet the kids to the table to eat, and I've never seen food go down so fast At one point, I think Cannon tried to s half a roll without chewing, and I was afraid I'd have to try the Heimlich maneuver

I'm utterly surprised when Zach comes up behindhis ar into my neck While Zach and I have been intiht, even that seems off to me as well We certainly have no problem in the sex depart little spontaneous acts of affection like what he's doing right now In fact, I can't remember a time in the last ed the other

I'o weak in my knees Unbridled hope and joy bubble up withinof the first ti in love all over again with this man

"Want your Christ voice

"What?" I exclaireed no presents for each other today"

With both of us being so busy, and truly wanting to make this about the kids, Zach and I just always reifts

"Relax," he says as he reaches into his paja"