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I peel Moira away froh the closet, I pull out o pants and bush shirts Moira had bought forboots I stuff it all haphazardly into the pack and then reach into my top drawer to pull out my passport

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Moira walk into the rooe for et back to Caraica Get me in as close as you can, and I'll hike the rest of the way I'll need so else you can think of"

"Zach there's no rush The raid is done, and Paraila is going to be just fine If you wait, I'll go--"

"Just fucking do it," I yell at her, e "It's the least you can do for pulling me away from there in the first place"

Moira's face blanches, and tears fill her eyes It feels like an arrow has pierced my heart, so terrible do I feel for what I just said

But I won't take it back, because the brackish bitterness is choking any further words out of me

How could I have been so stupid as to have left? What kind of selfishnesswithin me to have caused me to abandon the people that needed me most? Paraila could have died Others did die, I think, while choking on the pain of those thoughts

More iet sucked into this world receiving its pleasures and frivolity? I turned a blind eye to ot infatuated with a little bit of pussy

My heart clenches as I think these vile thoughts about Moira, knowing deep down they are unfair to her But the guilt and sha in on me so hard that I have to abandon my love and desire for her There's no rooe, tortured pain, and now an insatiable need for revenge

"Zach," Moira pleads with me softly "Will you just hold up a minute let's talk about this first?"

I take a deep breath and let it out slowly "There's nothing to talk about I'o to Randall He'll do it"

Moira nods in understanding, turning toward the bedrooements I'll come with you"

"No," I say with an icy voice "I don't want you to"

Because there's no point

There's nothing she can do, and her life will only be in danger, because I know as sure as I' here, ready to teara retaliation

Moira's face crunation fills her face, and she blinks the tears away "Okay," she says softly "I'll get it handled for you You should call Randall and tell hioodbye"

Yes, that's a good idea

I can't believe just an hour ago, I sat in his office andhim to put those plans to rest and move on with my life

I've gotten myself a little bit under control I've wrapped my head around what has happened, as well as the fact that it will be a full three days of travel before I can get to Caraica, so I've decided to stop trying to worry ht out to Georgetown, Guyana and, frohts to take me directly to the Aure out how to get a dugout canoe to make my way by water to Caraica, but I wasn't worried about that I'd steal one if I had to

Overall, she'd ed to cut probably at least a day's travel off h Guyana, for which I'rateful However, I haven't even found the voice hich to thank her for her efforts because I's she could possibly say to e my mind, and while the pain of what happened to my tribe still throbs deep withinpain over the fact that I' Moira behind

Leaving behindup with excite

All gone turned to ash in a terrible change of circumstances

Moira insisted on driving me to the airport, and the silence lays heavy between us Her grip on the steering wheel is so tight that her knuckles are white, and she's chewing on her bottom lip I want so badly to reach out, stroke her hair, touch her face and tell her it will all be okay

But it won't

Not for either of us

The airport exit looms ahead, and she turns on her blinker to take it My chest craness of all of this, but I push it aside I have to be strong for my people For Paraila

And I hope that Moira can be strong enough for herself as I leave her behind

Moira navigates her way to the proper ter traffic until she finds a place to pull up alongside the curb outside of United Airlines

We both get out of the car, and I wait for her to circle around She hands me my tickets that she had printed off at the house and then presses another envelope into my hand