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And I settle in to torture myself

The first article is entitled "Esteee Rules In Land the details because I've read it before and have no desire to read it again Trade disputes just aren't

The next result reads "Charity Auction Yields Highest Result With Judge's Donation" It's an older article but I click on the link and stare at the picture before uished e His hair is dark with silver at the te that belies his true age He is fit and looks to be in excellent shape His arm is around the waist of a petite woman, also with dark hair I know her to be forty-five

Hello, Mom and Dad

The article goes on to extol the virtues of The Honorable John Cleeden, District Court Judge, and how his donation of 50,000 put the Kid Strong Foundation over their oal for the year

My dad is looking serious in the picture, and I believe it's because he truly doesn't kno to ser to be in front of the camera, I'm sure

I search their faces, trying to see if there is anything lurking there that would indicate how they feel about hter While my dad doesn't look overly thrilled to have his picture taken, they certainly don't look forlorn or look to be in despair

It's as I thought They don't think of ame every now and then, it never diminishes the hurt I feel

Going back to the Google search field, I type in Anne Marie Cleeden It returns 178,000,000 hits I narrow it down Anne Marie Cleeden, Texas Three hundred and forty-eight results appear I scan the first page, searching for the words I long to read

Parents Search For Missing Daughter

Hope Still Alive For Texas Couple Searching For Daughter

Esteehter Is Alive

Page after page I search but it yieldsfor me They could care less whether I'm alive or dead

It's what I should expect

When I left ho under my parents' lack of interest in me, my dad told me He warned me well

He said if I left, I would never be welcoood as dead to them, and apparently, I was

"Okay now reach in and start pulling out the guts"

Rowan looks at ust on her face "It smells horrible"

"Stop being a baby and start gutting Pretend those are Juice's innards," I tell her, throwing a grin over my clever idea

She looks beautiful tonight with her hair pulled up in a ponytail and her face scrubbed of allan old Steely Dan t-shirt and faded jeans with holes in the knees Casual and sexy at the same time

Rowan grins back at lop of pu the table and says, "Take that you, bastard!"

I laugh out loud "You tell him!"

She reaches back in and pulls out another handful It hits the table hard and splatters onme"

Rowan pulls a third handful out "That's for chaining me to the bed," she yells with a silly smile on her face

Splat! The guts hit the table again and a few pumpkin seeds fall to the floor Capone walks over and sniffs them with interest

"Rock on, girl," I encourage her

She plunges back in, pulling out a huge pile and slas attack my bestie, Flynn"

I chuckle over her antics, happy to see that she can find soh about "That was probably the best therapy you could ever do to move past Juice"

We both share a secret s to work on our pumpkins Then our chuckles die down and ork in silence for a while

Rowan had brought these stupid pumpkins home and said she wanted to carve them for Halloween, which is less than a week away I didn't particularly care to do it, because I think it's a useless holiday, but her enthusiasm was infectious and herestand, shoulder to shoulder,these poor cucurbits