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I turn the key inon the couch, a bowl of popcorn on her lap She's wearing nothing but a t-shirt hiked up around her waist, showing me her barely there panties

The sight of her disgusts me

"Hey," she says brightly "Want to come eat some popcorn and watch TV with me?"

Stepping in, I shut the door When I look at her, I wonder how I could have hly fooled me I feel like an idiot

"I need you to get your stuff packed," I tell her

"Why?" she asks carefully

I don't answer but continue on "Then I need you to get out of my home"

"Cillian what's going on?"

I push forward "Then you have two choices You can go on your ood Or your second option is to drive yourself straight to Dublin Mind Wellness and check in If you complete rehab, and stay sober for a full year, then Iyou back in OTE Until such ti you as the band's bassist"

Tears form in her eyes and where once they"Cillian, why are you doing this to s like that to me, you know it just makes me sad" Her face lowers to the floor and she lets out a tiny sob It's fake I know it "It makes me want to to drink Have a care with me, Cillian"

I walk up to her fast and grab a fistful of her shirt, hauling her off the couch The bowl of popcorn goes flying Stickinglied to s and you causedyou right now You're lucky I' you a choice"

"That's not true, Cillian I swear it What did Renner say aboutYou have to believe me"

Still clutching her shirt, I drag her down the hall into the bedroo her toward her suitcase, I release her and she stu And I don't believe you I don't know that I ever will Now get packed and get out"

"I'm sorry, Cillian I didn't ht I would scare Renner off, and then you'd seewhen she's around I just wanted you so bad I didn't mean to lie about my parents I just wanted you to stay by me"

I'm so tired of this scene and I just need her to leave "Please get dressed and go"

Maeve drops to her knees and starts crying "Don't abandon me, Cillian I need you"

Fury rages through me, because all I can think about is the fact that I abandoned Renner I left her out in the cold and if she was feeling even a fraction of the sadness that Maeve is pretending to show ht now, she must have been co inward, the pain of that thought is so intense

I turnthe door "I'll be back in half an hour You better be gone by the ti"

I leave, softly shutting the door behind me

CHAPTER 25

Renner

I' onin thehis condo fro and first order of business needs to be to get some furniture Well, that's the second order of business First order is to get a job Luckily, Linc has cutme peanuts

I have a good nest egg saved up from when I worked at Delta and I'm thankful I never had to tap into it while I lived in Dublin

Just thinking of Dublin brings a tiny pang toof Dublin causesony

IDespite the heartbreak

A day doesn't go by that I don't think of getting on a plane and flying back to hiiven him an ultimatum Maybe I should have told him the truth of what I knew about Maeve Maybe I should have just given hih the issues with Maeve

Was I being selfish? Was I being a brat de that he choose me over another woman?

All questions that won't be answered, because no matter how much I miss him, no matter how many times I question the sanity ofto change my current situation I'm too stubborn, or too much of a coward I'm not sure which but either way, it hasto end my torture

So all I can hope is that tio away and that I'll be able to move on with my life

Pulling hon Tree Tops It's s with no risk of failing I don't knohy I torture h his music, but o