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Me: Online dating? Seriously? You guys act like Desi: Well, if you’re planning on going through with the whole “I’le” charade, you have less than two months to find yourself a boyfriendClaire: That isn’t a lot of tioodClaire: You should be thankful your friends are willing to be honest with youMe: Blatantly honest Bluntly honest Cutthroat honesty Oh yes, I’ht nowDesi: Would you like the silver lining?Me: If it doesn’t involve Craigslist or banging Tad the copy guy, I’m all earsDesi: Everyone online dates these daysMe: Do you?Desi: God noClaire: LOL You’re not helping, DesDesi: Ava and I are different I would eat online guys alive, okay?Claire: Okay, that IS true It could be good for you, AvaOh yeah, I’ behind his laptop with Cheetos-stained fingers and a beer belly, just waiting forapp

Son of a buttered bitchMe: Okay, I’uys laterOnce I force doo pieces of toast and pour reen fern that has surprisinglythere were eleven Teddys before hiet to water him a lot, it’s a miracle I swear, he’s like the Incredible Hulk of plants or so

“Way to go, buddy,” I whisper to him “Keep on keepin’ on”

Lazy Sunday et cozy on my sofa

Unfortunately for le inbox to see if there are any updates about the art installation being placed in the South Wing of the Met, I co emails from Callie Camden-Baccus

First es and balloons

Second email? To let me know that since she is an expert in décor and apparently went to so the balloons She’ll do that Instead, I’ll be in charge of the cake and desserts

And, last but certainly not least, the third e provides ies and a Callie-approved list of bakeries where I can order the desserts And it should be noted that Lakewood has exactly two bakeries, both of which are on the list

While I conte this whole find-a-boyfriend and help-plan-a-stupid-high-school-reunion fiasco, I roll through my usual social media stops

Instagram Twitter Facebook

I scroll through what feels like a thousand pictures of h school classnificant others, and uninvited dread and annoyance for alliance and carve out a hole in my stomach

It feels like everyone is in a relationship Or engaged Or married

Everyone besides me

Why does this bother me so much?