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How do I know this? Because as a thirty-three-year-old woman in the fao, and reat-auntsa husband is the only way I’ht back

A text pings in the ongoing group chat with the three clucking hens, and I sigh as I scroll to read itMoht below heron a park bench He’s aesthetically handso down at so taken of hierMe: Have you lost your ets mad?Aunt Poppy: Get real, Ava We’re smarter than thatAunt Lil: It was a top-secretis out and about today…and they’re all clinically insaneMom: VERY top secret He had no ideaMe: Is this the only reason you guys go to the dog park? To stalk men?Moive hi He’s lazy as hell and enjoys walks as reat-aunts are sneaking pictures of rando me a man—aka: not at all

Lucky for hi park is only a short walk from my parents’ house And rass while reat-aunts stalkof you Leave thatelse to do with your tiA minute passes peacefully, and naïvely, I actually think themy eyes with a bold, dark line, but I haven’t even finished one of theainMoot your last e We just showed hiasp of betrayal is the only thing I inning There’s no way my mom would have known he was a lawyer if she hadn’t talked to hie in the first place

Help me Someone help me

Knowing the ship has sailed on thisthere withouttheuys are in Verht?Aunt Poppy: That’s why they hly doubt Karl Benz invented the car so he could hook up more easily But you three ARE about to have a hot date with handcuffs and jail tiersAunt Poppy: LoserGood grief Damn, Aunt Poppy Don’t hold back

I don’t knohat else I’h She never does And, when it coht Thanks to my baby sister Kate and her stupid fiancé Zach, by this New Year’s Eve, I’ll be the oldest and only single Lucie sister left

My other sister E her husband Landon two years agoAunt Poppy: I’ real, Ava You need to find yourself a man before your little beaver shrivels upDear God, is this what spontaneous combustion feels like? Isacross the rooht now?

It sure feels like it I know, once you take out the pushiness andto say is that they don’t want me to end up alone They were all e, and they want the saed since they were h school

Frankly, woet married at all

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being single and empowered and independent

Truthfully, I’d love to find someone to settle doith, but I need to do it in my own time

On a sigh, I type out a response that will put an end, albeit teallery’s opinionsMe: Well, it’s been lovely chatting with you guys about otta run! I sure hope your husbands don’t get suspicious when they find the evidence of other men in your phone