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Phoebe sat in silence Stunned Never had she felt so used She’d shared her body with Ryan Opened her heart Believed that sheher like she was nothing What a jerk He didn’t even have the backbone to tell her that he no longer wanted to help deliver the baby

She climbed off the table and dressed Had she ever felt more humiliated? Discarded?

Ryan was there four hours later when a new life entered the world This time he missed the amazement he usually felt All he could think about was Phoebe’s large sad eyes when he’d left the exam room Whatof himself

He had called to check on her a few days earlier, using all his self-control to wait as long as he had before he’d picked up the phone Justifying the call, he’d told himself he was after all her midwife But that hadn’t been the real reason he’d done it He’d been desperate to hear her voice He’d done so as if he didn’t care about Phoebe in front of her had been the hardest It had been evennot to touch her She’d looked so dejected when he’d walked out of the room The devil of it all was that he cared about Phoebe more than anyone else in the world

The irony was that he had treated her the way he had because he couldn’t deal with the depth of his feelings for her and his inability to handle the uilt for how he had treated someone who had been i involved with anyone Until Phoebe, he had ed to keep everyone at bay, but she had slipped past his defenses

The dark of the night mirrored his emotions as he drove home hours later For once in his life he wished someone was there to come home to He let himself into his house and dropped his clothes on the floor That was a habit that he and Phoebe shared They both dropped things as soon as they came in the door He his clothes and she her shoes

Going to his bedrooht When he looked at his bed all he could see was the way Phoebe had lovingly admired his work He’d never shared his workshop with anyone before Even the few times female company had stayed over he’d never taken the Phoebe around to garage sales to open it to her

How quickly she had found a way into his home, his shop and his heart But none of that mattered He would never be able to be there for her as she needed She deserved so back Be there for her for the long haul He wouldn’t invest in people that way after he had he’d lost so ain It was better to let her go now

Ryan turned off the light, removed his clothes but didn’t bother to pull the covers back before he lay on the bed He squeezed his eyes shut and put his arm over his eyes All he could see was the confusion, then disappointment and pain in Phoebe’s eyes

Had he ever been happier than he had been in the last feeeks? When had he last thought about even being happy? It certainly hadn’t been for a long time He could remember that enized happiness when Phoebe had kissed hiuins waddle out of the water to take care of their chicks, or the look on Phoebe’s face when she’d looked down at him as they’d become one Because of her he’d known true happiness

He hadn’t realized how he’d shut out the world until she had shown up on his doorstep, leaving hiain He’d carried the pain of war, the agony of trying to help men and women whose lives would never be the sa questions He’d talked more about his time in the war in the last feeeks than he’d done in the last ten years The more he’d told her the easier it had becoht had been lifted off his chest After he’d returned from a difficult mission, he’d been required to talk to the shrink He’d never thought it useful Thanks to Phoebe, he was starting to see a value in not holding those memories in

All this didn’t matter anyway He’d hurt Phoebe so badly today that even if he tried to have a relationship with her she would close the door in his face No, it was better this way

Phoebe leaned her head against the glassof the tram The clack of the cars made a rhythm that would have lulled her to sleep if her e like balls in a pinball er

How had she let Ryan matter so much? Worse, how had she been misled by him?

He hadbut the way he’d thought of little things to help her Painting the baby’s roo her feet Her back In just a feeeks he had donetheir entire e

So what had happened to make Ryan do such an about-face?

Had she pushed too hard? Assuether, see each other scared him off?

When she heard her stop called she prepared to get off She still had a few blocks to walk before shebefore going to bed If Ryan kneould scold her Maybe not, after what she’d experienced today

Slipping her key into the lock a few minutes later, she opened the door She entered and turned on the light How different this hoined She’d hoped that Ryan would bring her hoht That bubble had been completely popped

Phoebe kicked her shoes off She chuckled dryly The actionhis clothes inside his door Making her way to her bedroom, she turned on her bedside lamp, then undressed She slid between the sheets and leaned over to turn the light off The picture of her and Joshua caught her attention

Had the fact that she was carrying Joshua’s baby been the reason Ryan had suddenly slammed the door between them? Was the baby too much of a reminder that she would always be tied to Joshua? Or was it that they represented the painful loss of Joshua? Or the other men that Ryan had seen die In some way they et

Sliding the drawer out of the bedside table, Phoebe pulled out the cru it, she s it Had Joshua known he wasn’t co on a dangerous patrol like Ryan had described? Even after they had discussed separating, had he wanted her to be happy, to find soht be that person?

Whatever it was, she’d done as Joshua had said and gone to Ryan Joshua had been right There she’d found the piece of her life that had beenall these years Moisture filled her eyes But Ryan didn’t want her Once again she was on her own Would she ever find a real partner in life?

Turning off the light, she curled around her baby At least this little one would be someone to love ould return it