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“Marie,” I interrupt “I’ht” I just don’t want to see Ethan And God knows, he probably doesn’t want to see me

Marie is silent for a beat or two “Oh, sweetheart, I’ht…Of course you don’t want to come to the party I’m so insensitive”

“No, no,” I say, a guilty heat in my face “I just…I have plans”

Her voice rises to operatic levels “I ask e So stupid! Oh, I hate myself!”

“Marie, please! No, seriously, I would come…I just have plans” And it wasn’t your first son I was thinking of, by the way

“Are you…seeing someone?” Marie asks, a suspiciously hopeful note in her voice

I take a slow, long breath “U into my palm “Um, remember that man who looked a little bit like Jimmy? The one orks for the supermarket chain?”

“Him? Oh, he seeht I was seeing things!” She pauses, and there’s a sniff at the other end of the line “It was good to see hiood, anyway”

I s “I knohat you mean”

Five ently There’s the pebble I try relaxing ue No improvement

So it’s true Ethan’s taking that other job Good That’s good I clamp down on the part ofLet hio, Lucy

With a sigh I pull a jar of store-bought spaghetti sauce froht is my second date with Jih I’ret that now Inviting a man to your place…there’s a certain expectation in that type of date, an expectation I have no intention of honoring But the idea of going out to a restaurant was a little…tiring Matt asked me to his place, but I preferred to stay on my own turf and reversed the invitation I can handle Matt, and being involved with soain ain I shut it up Can’t have everything

So here I a out any stops whatsoever Stop acting so pathetic, I urge my lazy-ass self Matt’s perfectly nice This is what you wanted And so, obedient to a fault, I obey my orders, empty the sauce into a pan and pull out some breaded chicken patties to thaw Not my best effort, but hey Matt took me to a chain restaurant called the Olive Grove He’s not a true Italian Not like the Mirabellis

An hour later I’ When the knock coo open the front door

“Hi,” Jimmy Li—Matt says He holds a bouquet of flowers and a bottle of wine

“Hi,” I say, and to show that I’m completely normal, I stand on tiptoe and kiss his cheek “Pretty flowers”

“What a great place!” he exclai?”

It dawns onto have to tell the Every scab, every bump

“About five years Right after Jimmy died,” I say “My brother-in-law found it for ht a house, and…well Would you like so for an answer

“Sure,” he says “Lucy?”

I turn around and look at him “Yeah?”

“I think you’re really brave” He smiles

I suppress a sigh…so brave, that’s me “Thank you”

As I uncork a bottle, I picture myself with Matt DeSalvo Maybe ouldn’t live in Mackerly, but so I could even coe way I take a slug of wine to try to loosen the tightness in my throat, then tell him about my sister and Emma, even whip out a couple pictures

“Listen, Matt,” I say carefully, putting Ee “Um…about our date I didn’t want you to think, um…well, that because I invited you here, it ri with me

“Oh, no! No, that’s fine,” Matt says “No, it’s nice Taking things slow Sure, Lucy I’e”

I’ve always hated that expression

I serve dinner (cloth napkins and everything, I’)

“How is everything?” I ask after I’ve sed a few bites of the unremarkable meal

“It’s excellent,” Matt say, grinning “You’re a wonderful cook”

“Thanks,” I answer

After dinner, Matt helps clear “Want dessert?” I ask, glancing in the fridge Pear tarts with fresh nutinger confit in the ht was our final pastry class I didn’t make these especially for Matt—they were just available

“U his stomach “I’m a little full Can’t eat like I used to”

“Right,” I say, closing the door “Well, co room Have a seat”

Matt takes our wineglasses and brings thelass, which I drain, then wanders over to the TV, glancing at y Die Hard The Hunt for Red October Body of Lies “You like guyhappily surprised

“Yes, I do,” I agree

Then he sets his wineglass down and looks at another case “Your wedding?” he says, holding it up

I jolt upright “Yes” God, hadn’t I put that away? Rather daunting, dating a wo…