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“Really?” I ask

“Sure,” he says “Don’t forget where we met, Lucy”

“Oh, I know,” I say “But you quit You dropped out before you finished”

He nods “Yes, I did,” he admits

“So that would be great!” I exclaim “You should take over Gianni’s You know your dad thinks the cousin’s husband’s brother is a total screw-up”

Ethan gives me a look “Better the cousin’s husband’s brother than me, Luce,” he says

“But you’re a fantastic cook! You’d be perfect! And it’s the family—”

“I’ll never be Jimmy,” Ethan interrupts “And that’s what my parents really want”

There’s an uncousted and leave Ethan unwraps the cake He holds it up in an offer, but I shake my head and watch, bemused, as he takes a bite His eyes close in pleasure for a second, and I smile

“What about you?” Ethan asks “Any progress with the grocery store offer?” He takes another bite of cake

“Not yet,” I admit I’d spoken to Matt DeSalvo twice last week, rather disappointed when he didn’t offer to meet face-to-face so I could see if he really looked as ht “There’s still a lot to talk about But I’ll probably take it”

“I thought you weren’t sure you wanted to bake bread,” Ethan comments

“I’ bankrupt” There’s a splotch of mustard on my jeans, and I scratch it idly “And,” I ad someone, you know? It’d be nice to write into the Johnson & Wales aluazine and say o into Connecticut and Massachusetts, too So” I look up at Ethan “A nice offer”

He nods “This cake is fantastic,” he says “Try some”

“I don’t—” I begin, but he leans forward and pops a chunk into my mouth The rich, velvety texture of the dark chocolateis like a bit of divine perfection It was a great idea to roast…roast the…

“Well?” Ethan says, then notices my expression “Lucy?”

“It’s…it’s good,” I stammer And it is And I can taste it I s Yes, there’s the hint of coffee, just the slightest murmur of cinnamon

“Here,” Ethan says He smiles as he feeds me the last piece, and I close ht I can’t believe I can finally, finally enjoythat was gone has co, long ti I’ve ain appreciate so I made with my own hands, that I made with attention and care for the man in front of me, and to be able to have that back…

My eyes are hen I open them Ethan’s smile drops

“Are you okay, honey?” he asks, and with that, I reach out and wrapchocolate and Ethan, his gentle, beautiful o aroundthe back ofhis heart beat against mine

I pull back and look into his eyes His gaze drops to my mouth, and he pushes a piece of my hair off my face

“Make love to ives me his hand

The sunlight coh the little s that line the cabin Ethan pulls the couch out, then straightens, not saying anything I sit down, and he kneels beforefingers His skin is beautiful, olive and smooth, the muscles hard underneath I pressbeat there, steady and constant Just like Ethan Then I look at hiold and brown, like fallen leaves in a clear stream

Then he leans in closer so that our foreheads touch “You sure, honey?” he asks

“Yes,” I whisper, and his mouth is on mine His hand slides under my T-shirt and cups ood, feels like heaven and I can’t believe I’ve waited so long for this His h ive myself away

And I realize that despite my intentions, I’ve fallen in love after all

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

IT’S MUCH COLDER WHEN WE HEAD BACK…the sky clouded up while ere in the cabin, the ocean turning slate and choppy We don’t talk h waves around Point Judith and adjusts the sail frequently We keep a fast clip, bouncing over the waves, and I watchrim fantasies of Ethan’s death will coh the water

Everything’s gonna be all right, everything’s gonna be all right…Everything’s gonna be all right… It’s not lost on me that this snippet of Bob Marley was my mantra after Jimmy died But every time Ethan looks at me, so damn happy, fear strikes my heart Don’t let ht comes to me that maybe Jimmy isn’t all that happy that my heart has opened to someone else Thatall others, all the days ofed…that’s not like Jimmy betrayed me He didn’t ruin my love for him He just died

I try to ile through life without me Of course I’d want hi my stomach as we bounce over the wake of a lobster boat, I’d also want to be the love of his life To be the one by which all others were measured

“Doing okay?” Ethan calls over the rush of wind

“I’reat,” I answer, determined to make it true