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The tenderness in ine I was just wanting to sort things out with hiain Without a word, I stand up and move past him

“Lucy, I’ my hand “Don’t be mad”

I pull free I aood, bad, ugly, and I need a little space

In the back of the rooy’s last ue extended as Father Adhyatman watches in horrified fascination There were no crumbs involved, Idown the hall toward the bathroo

Then, out of the bathrooives me that vacuous smile she’s perfected, shifts her eyes to the left of my head and tries to slither past

“Hello, Debbie,” I say, blocking her way My voice may be a little too loud

“Oh! Unized hts No A possuhts She always had a sneaky little face “Hi! How have you been?”

“Well, funny you should ask, Debbie My husband died five years ago I know you were quite sad But guess what? So was I It would’ve been nice if you called me even once Since you were supposedly my friend and all”

She stares atin surprise Her mouth opens wordlessly, but whatever she may or may not have to say, I don’t want to hear it Instead I step aside to let her scuttle past My breath co place, knowing I’ly close to tears

The coat room Great No one’s in there I step in and close the door behind me, take a deep breath and cross e racks of coats surroundsoftly in the wind current caused by my arrival

“Lucy? You in there?” It’s Ethan Of course

I don’t answer The coat room door doesn’t have a lock Ethan comes in and shuts the door quietly behind him

“First you make out with Charley Spirito, then you tell off Debbie Keating,” he ht”

“Please don’t,” I whisper

He nods and looks at the floor “I’ive me?”

I nod, ht to speak

“Co for you”

“Ethan,” I atte My ether

“Hey,” Ethan says, his eyebrows rising in surprise He steps closer, erasing the small space between us, and takeson, sweetheart?”

Tears slop out of ainst Ethan’s shoulder,Rather hard “I was so proud, Ethan,” I choke “To be the first face she saw after all this ti I said, or those da and s, and it was like the old days, you know? The Black Widoere so happy, and it was like a party and everyone was so amazed, and then…it’s so stupid, but why does everyone have to die?” I hiccup on another sob

“Honey, she was a hundred and four,” Ethan says againstbetween my shoulder blades, where there are knots the size of acorns He feels so good Sood “She just…wound down That’s all And you had this incredible day with her, this one last day where she was back to her old self” His voice is gentle “You should be happy, sweetheart That was a gift You got to talk to her one last tiive—”

His words stop abruptly It doesn’t matter I knohat he was about to say

I pull back a little to look at him, and his eyes, those smiley eyes, are so sad

In all my times with Ethan, I have never seen him cry, not at Jimmy’s funeral, not in the horrible days immediately thereafter, not ever I wonder noarehouse of eot bottled up in his heart

Ethan pulls back, too Very gently, he runs his thu away my tears “Don’t cry, honey I can’t take it,” he whispers

And then I kiss him His lovely, full mouth is so warm, so familiar For about three entire heartbeats, he doesn’t move a millimeter Then he kisses , and I slide h his hair and pull him a little closer, and oh, God, I’ve missed him Missed this

His arain as we knock against theentle scrape of his beard contrasting with the warm silkiness of his mouth My knees soften in an alain, and the kiss is not so gentle this tiry, hot and forbidden and utterly welcoh my veins My handsof his heart Without thinking, I tug his shirt and slip my hands underneath

“Lucy,” he ainst ain and slide ainst the s hiainstis forgotten

Suddenly the door opens, and I release Ethan so fast that I stagger into the hangers once more He catches my arm, and we turn to see who’s there