page27 (1/2)

Jimmy’s wake took place here, too It was, of course, surreally awful…part ofHe’ll show up any uests were there that it was al Everyone had been so happy just a few months earlier Could it really be possible that Jione? Forever? It was like one of those dreams that start out happy, but bit by bit, you realize you’re lost and so knife, and there’s nowhere to hide

Speaking of wedding guests, Debbie Keating,with Rose She was one of my bridesmaids, but when Jimmy died, Debbie dropped me She didn’t come to his wake or funeral She didn’t send a card Instead, her ht there as I stood next toand stunned, that Debbie was taking Jimmy’s death really hard and was very sad I never heard froot married two years later, I wasn’t invited

It happens more than you’d like to know People don’t knohat to say, so they say nothing, ignore you, pretend not to see you, and, when trapped, do what Debbie’s doing now—seneral direction to pretend that we’re still friends, only to shift her eyes away just before we actually make eye contact

So of uncooked meat “Hi, Grinelda,” I say “How are you?”

“I’m not bad, kid Yourself?”

“I’m okay” I sneak a peek at her outfit—pink tulle ballerina skirt over purple corduroys, topped with a red velvet shirt and black down vest “So, did you foresee Boggy’s death, Grinelda?” I can’t help asking

“Welp, I’ll tell you Soht’ve seen it Or not Plus,” she adds, lowering her voice and reypsy, “all is not for me to know”

“And what is for you to know, exactly?” I murmur

She sighs rustily “Whatever those who have passed want to tell me” She cuts her hooded eyes my way “Did you check the toast?”

“Yup Checked the toast Haven’t burned a single piece since you gave e”

“Good, I guess Now, I need a shing I pat her back, trying not to cringe as she hacks and wheezes Finally she grunts, then struggles to get out of the chair I stand up and give her a hand

“Take care, Grinelda,” I say

“You, too, Lucy” She shuffles off to Reverend Covers and hands him a purple business card

“I’ion of my hip

My heart swells with love “Oh, hey there, Nicky,” I say, picking him up for a smooch “Thanks, sweetheart Did you come with your daddy?”

“No I came with Mommy” He drapes a coain His cheek is velvet, and I see that he has a new freckle just below his ear “Wucy,” he says, toying with y see Uncle Jimmy in heaven?”

The question hitsNick so he sits on my lap “I don’t know, honey,” I whisper “Maybe I don’t see why not”

“Maybe he can ood cook”

The i I can almost smell the tomato sauce—Ji hands dexterously chopping parsley, the sizzle of chicken in hot olive oil

“He sure was a good cook,” Imy nephew’s expectant eyes “He would’ve cooked all your favorites, I bet”

“That’s what Daddy says Can I have a candy?” Nicky asks, wriggling offbowl of candy by the door”

“Ask your mom,” I say

“Bye!” Nicky dashes up to Parker, who absently strokes his dark hair as she talks to Ellen Ripling The little boy clings to her leg, clearly trying not to interrupt His eyes are just like Ethan’s, brown andthere

Except I haven’t seen Ethan smile lately Even now, he looks a bit tired as he waits in the receiving line to offer his condolences to hts up when she sees hirins as he always does around the Black Widows, leaning in to kiss her cheek He takes both her hands in his and says so that makes her s moves in my chest as I reht

Henaughty froed face and reaches up to smack the side of his head Then he reaches h his as she talks with her best friend, Carol Ethan looks so…decent He nods to Carol without interrupting ood son Too bad he lacks that easy grace with his own parents

I look down, i Char over to sit next to et up to herd our children—ere planning on four—when they got rowdy If anyone iy, Jimmy would put that silly notion to rest in a heartbeat His presence would cushion s and the dopey Cousin Stevies of the world

It’s the ’s burden and blessing, too For the rest of my life, I’ll picture Jimmy everywhere He did love me so And God knows I loved him, too

“Hi, Lucy”

I look up at Ethan, and for a heartbeat, it’s al all these years “Hi,” I whisper through the fog of emotion that’s enveloped me

“I hear those were some killer scones,” he whispers, then dissolves into silent laughter, sinking into the chair next tohis face with his hand