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“Terrorizing the babysitter, like any good four-year-old” She sine theh Nicky was definitely unplanned, the result of failed birth control, neither of the the lad They could have more Nickys…after all, it’s not like they find each other repugnant, which is e in my eyes

Parker snaps her fingers in front of oing I hardly got to talk to hi him about Emma’s poop and pee schedule, and I have to say, he took it like a man”

“Did she show the cracked nipple?” I ask, grinning

Ethan cocks his head “You’re on a date?” he asks “Who is he?”

“It’s not a date Not really We just…he’s Gertie Myers’s nephew Fred Busey”

“Fred!” Parker cries Fred’s enhanced head snaps around “Fred, be ermeister, okay? Lenny, you old fart, pay attention! The man needs to be served!”

“So I take it Charley Spirito didn’t work out,” Ethan says That little muscle under his eye twitches “On to Prospect Number Two, huh?”

“It’s not exactly a date,” I repeat

At that ht as Fred joins us, carefully holding a Jägermeister shot for Parker and two beers He passes out the drinks “Hello,” he says, offering his hand first to Doral-Anne, then to Ethan “I’m Fred Busey, a friend of Lucy here”

“A friend, huh?” Doral-Anne says, aive the world a view of her tattoo (an orange and green snake, which curls around her pierced navel, forked tongue darting…adorable) “Nice to meetcha So, Ethan, if you wanna continue that conversation…”

“Doral-Anne, this is Parker Welles,her rudeness

“Hi, how are you? You work at Starbucks, right?” Parker asks

“I’er,” Doral-Anne says

“I’uilty look at me “For coffee only, of course,” she adds

“Well,” Fred says “Shall we get a table for five?”

“Oh, we don’t want to interrupt your date,” Parker says “You guys have fun Eth, mind if I join you two?”

And so I sit with Fred, who is perfectly nice, see father and whose hair paint see, as a black streak is slowly but surelyits way down his forehead

“She sounds like a real cutey,” I say at the appropriate interval in the story of Fred’s daughter and her ballet recital

We spend an endless hour chatting before I look at n surprise at the hour and reet up at four and really need some sleep Which is, of course, a lie I’ll be up for hours

“Listen,” he says, and I mentally fumble for an excuse to turn him down on a second date “You’re awfully cute, Lucy, but I just don’t think there’s chemistry here”

Angels bless you, Fred, I think “You seeuy,” I say honestly “But, well…yes”

“Not over your husband, eh?” he says kindly

I s “I think you’re right,” I agree “Good luck with everything, Fred”

I stop at the bar to reet Tommy Malloy’s keys, then leave The cheerful noise of the bar dies within a half block ofcemetery, I’d be home in ten minutes As it is, it will take thirty-two

The bugs of late September have left or died, and the only sound is one brave little cricket and the ever-present sound of the waves shushing against the rocky shore two blocks away I trailthe cemetery wall “Hi, Dad,” I say at the appropriate spot “Hope everything’s good in heaven” The wind rustles the fading leaves above, and one or two drift down

Maybe Fred’s right Maybe I’m not ready Maybe it’s my destiny to be a Black Widow, have Grinelda do my whiskers and channel my dead husband I do want et it

At ho over hiainst his “Hello, you big brute,” I murmur He tolerates me for a moment, honors me with a rusty purr, then jumps free

With a sigh, I sit on the couch, which is directly in front of the rather fabulous plasma screen TV Ethan helped uess, or challenge o to bed…4:00 am comes early, of course

I look at the wedding picture that hangs on the wall, a lovely eight-by-ten candid Ji Our faces are in profile, both of us turned to look at Ethan, who’s not in the shot His best et-out, and everyone had roared with laughter Especially Jis I loved s to er than life, my Jie wasI ever wanted

I go into the kitchen and opencabinet Molten dark chocolate cake with a milk chocolate center? Or no, flip that…oo for the center Yes A shot of espresso, soanache I’ll call it Java Glory Cake

The sounds of baking are the gentle music of my soul I was born to be a baker Bread has its oard, but dessert is where I was ainst the cool granite countertop, the crisp s of s, the seductive gloss of the bitter chocolate as it melts with the pale butter The many shades of white…thepowder, the cheerful glea bowls are also white, each one polka-dotted with a different color…green for the largest, then orange, then red, then robin’s egg blue Ethan gave theo One of the best presents I ever got

As I redients, the sharp, pure smell of Mexican vanilla fills the air I inhale, then rub a little on my wrist Best perfume in the world, in my opinion