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I do this al like h, I watched him deteriorate, and I vowed I wouldn’t become like him

Iin self-pity, which I know is terrible, but I can’t help it It’s as if she’ll appear if I’ht every day for the two ht up until she finally moved out and left e, empty house

My as right I’m a selfish bastard

Now that I’ the gallery—I feel as if perhaps less I should’ve done it while Shay was still here, but ere far too volatile

I think about the girl I spoke to on the phone, which was a prelifor her big break in this industry The reason I asked toher the job is because I don’t need soallery

That makes me sound old But the clientele that frequented Elliot Gallery and Estate in the past were rich, pompous assholes My father kne to entertain them Me on the other hand, I hated it

Dressing up to sers wasn’tto finally take the step into reopening the gallery To here and if she’s able to be the face of the company

I’ve always enjoyed sitting back and running things from the office And if she’s as enthusiastic as she sounded on the phone, I’m sure she’ll be the perfect hostess

Heading into the studio, I pull open the cabinet and pour a double shot of bourbon into a tu behind ht, but I can’t face being around him and Kate Not that I don’t care for them deeply, and not because I’ over each other reminds me of how alone I am

I’ve spentart shows because I couldn’t sulp of the strong alcohol, I s it down, letting the burn take hold of me as it slithers down my throat I focus on the canvas before me Empty, void of color, just like my life

I really should give up all hope of getting this thing done, but it was one oflost in my art

After Shay walked out, I stopped painting Even though I spend every night in here until the sun rises again, I’ve not picked up a paint brush My fingers itch to do it, to create so

But how can I create beauty when my life is filled with darkness?

I s back the rest of the bourbon and get up to pour another shot I shouldn’t drink so much, but since I have nobody to answer to, I enjoy the nuh me after a few doubles of amber liquid

Numb

That’s what I am

It’s a phantom ache in my chest that hasn’t left, and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to ease it away Grabbing the bottle, I make my way back to the co the empty canvas, and flop onto the cushions

Setting the glass and bottle down beside me, I pick up the re the roo, and I closeon the front door rouses me from a dreamless sleep I’m not sure who the fuck is at , but I pray to all that’s holy they leave The incessant sound stops, and I sigh a breath of relief, but not long after, it starts back up

Shoving ht, I call out to whoever it is to “Hold the fuck on” With a quick glance in the mirror, I make sure I look halfway presentable before I pad over to the door When I pull it open, there on ht and cheery for this ungodly hour

“What?” I bite out, noticing her sirl must be about five-four because I have to look down at her She can’t be e purple streaks and large, brown eyes the color of warards me with shock