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“What?”
“At least she’s legal now,” I joked with a shit-eating grin on my face
“Fuck you,” he scoffed out, s
“Does Lucas know?”
He shook his head no
“At least I won’t be the only one he’s ever hated”
He stopped scooping food on his plate to look atstare and replied, “You think he will hate me?”
“You think he won’t?” I countered with a cocked eyebrow
“I don’t fucking know… I love her I’ve always loved her”
I kneas telling the truth The way he looked at her spoke volumes
“Lily has always had that effect on people It doesn’t surprise me, man”
“So, Briggs, huh?” he asked, changing the subject “You next? Marriage and a baby carriage and all that shit?”
I winced I couldn’t help it
“Shit… did I—”
“I’s,” I cut him off
Making ht on oddaood handle on my sobriety, but thein an to pool at my temples
I was jonesing
I stopped in the hallway, realizing that I had gotten lost dealing with le
And the irony was not lost on me
I closed et a hold ofdirection All I saas Briggs’ beautiful happy face, s for me
I took a deep breath, turning around Once again gaining control over hts
Was it always going to be like this?
“Oh eous”
I stopped dead in s' voice instantly I stood there frozen, listening to what sounded like a baby cooing
“He is pretty perfect, but I’ “Would you like to hold him?”
“Oh… umm… are you sure? I have zero experience with babies, Alex Is that okay?” She let out a nervous laugh
“Of course, you have to start somewhere Here, put your arood”
My feet started to odda their voices, fighting against the current every step of the way I knew I should have turned around
I knehat I was about to witness
But I couldn’t stop The gravitational pull was too strong The force too powerful to fight against it
“Awe, you look really good holding his It suits you He’s usually fussy around new people, and he doesn’t even see to be a greatchest with her words
"Bo, you are so precious Look at these chubby cheeks Alex, he is going to be a heart breaker"
The dagger that was already lodged in my heart, twisted a little more
"God help hed
“I can’t wait I want to be a mom so bad To wake up and see a face like this everyday would melt my heart I’d love to have a fa hi me wish I had one of my own”
I willed my body to walk the fuck away To walk back in the other direction I didn't need to hear this, not nohen I was struggling to stay clean But I stopped when I heard my name
“Austin would s He’s always liked kids Even ere younger and the other boys didn’t want anything to do with them”
“Yeah…” Briggs replied in a sad tone “I’d love that To have a family with hi “I’ so emotional”
“It’s okay Baby Bo has that effect on woets it from his dad”
They laughed
Before I knew it, I was standing in front of the roos cradle and rock Bo as if he were her own
As if he was ours
She leaned her lips against his face and kissed his cheeks, looking at hi him immediately
“Austin,” Alex announced, looking up
Briggs gri her eyes almost instantly
“Coive him up I think she has baby fever Maybe it’s time you—”
Briggs interrupted, "Alex"
Locking eyes with me
There was soshe ever wanted in her arht in front of my eyes
Except there was no waking up
This was my reality
And that…
Wasdemon
Briggs
Call it intuition if you would, but the second I saw Austin co, I knew Clear as fucking day he had just used I wanted to call hiain
“What the hell are you doin’, man?” I overheard Dylan ask as I walked toward them
“Not this shit again Givehim up and down
“Wipe your nose a little better next time and maybe I won’t ask you”
Austin i his nose
“Get out of ht before I search you,” Dylan warned
Austin took a deep breath like he wanted to say soed his oing to say
I knew the chance of relapse would be high I just didn’t think it would happen that fast Which I guess made me really naive
“How long has it been this fucking bad?” Dylan asked hts
I didn’t knohat to say, so I didn’t say anything I stood there dumbfounded as much as he was
“Jesus Christ,” Dylan whispered, tugging his long hair back at the nook of his neck That's when I noticed he was strapped and right next to that on his holster was a shiny badge
“You’re a cop?”
“Detective,” he corrected me
I had no idea Austin never talked about his friends
“Well, thanks for not searching him”
“He’s s I love him”
“I know," I whispered, lowering my head, defeated
He sighed “I knoent through soht… shit… I hoped he had worked it out Especially having you by his side now He fuckin’ adores you, that's not hard to see" He shook his head "I’ve never seen him look at anyone like he looks at you”
“I love hi, Dylan I swear to God I’ He's been clean up until now”
“Try harder,” he simply stated and left
I didn’t give our conversation toothe house and asking if anyone had seen hi in front of the shoreline with his ararette in one hand
I stopped when I was a few feet behind hi down on hientle breeze blowing by I wrappedany solace I could find
“I used to come here as a kid Watch the waves roll in, smell the saltwater in the air It use
d to belost And here I a lost than I've ever been”
“So those teeks of Hell that we both went through to get you clean" I paused, trying to fight back tears "They were for nothing? Why do you need drugs to escape, Austin? Why can’t you just face life like everyone else?”