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The same body I had drea me come in ways I never had done with other ainst mine

“Thank you for lettingthe blankets back to lie down

I could sense he wanted me to lie next to hi He wanted us to keep talking But I knew that would only lead to h of the havoc on my soul

“Don’t ht, Austin”

“Night, Briggs,” he replied, failing at hiding his disappointment

It usually took ht, a curse that had stayed with me since childhood I would toss and turn for hours till I was exhausted enough to pass the fuck out But that night, sleep came immediately I couldn’t remember the last time that happened

I had felt a sense of security with hi to ht ainstme everywhere

I could still feel him

For the first tiht and everything it had to offer The shadows that crept in the corners were hidden

At least that night

I woke up the nextthem back and forth As if his had never left I felt refreshed and energized Happy even So when I sat up and looked over toward the couch, expecting to see a sleeping Austin, all I saere blankets and pillows placed on the corner of the sofa

He’d left

Without saying goodbye

Austin

She wasn’t lying about her couch being comfortable as fuck I passed out withinthe pillow I couldn’t remember the last time I slept in a comfortable, clean place Even the rando rock Most of the ti out on the damn floor instead

I was usually an early riser, always had been So, it didn’t surprisesoundly when I woke up I sat up, placing both feet on the floor, catchingmy back hurt like a son of a bitch

I got up, went to the bathroo When I ca when I heard her sporadic, soft, gentle snoring

Fuck, it was the cutest thing I had ever heard

I couldn’t help but stare at her while I was folding the blankets Her vibrant purple hair was fanned out around her face She was so fucking beautiful even without her make-up More so even It was then I wished I had a notebook to capture her beauty on paper Make it live through the pages of my art

I resisted the urge to crawl in bed with her to hold her in ht, I couldn’t fucking helpI ever wanted

I was definitely caught off guard when she offeredthat, and I don’t think she was either I could sense her anxiety the entire drive to her apartment and even more as we made it towards her door

Of course I wanted to have sex with her I wasn’t a fucking saint The only tigs was different She was the first girl I wanted to get to know inside and out For so, itI was the most unfamiliar with

I wasn’t expecting to pull her into my arms and kiss her

It just happened

I kissed her because I couldn’t not kiss her

It was only one kiss and I already kneasn’t nearly enough I had kissed hundreds of girls by that point and it was the first ti someone

The connection was live and thriving all around us The force, the pull, so fucking strong that there was no way to ever push away

I headed to the ed for another night in that piece of shit roorab all my shit He left a note on the table with an address and a phone nuot the hell out of there I wasn’t sure if the next s’ or Mike’s friends couch but one thing was for sure

I was staying in New York

It took me a ot lost trying to findaround aied to find rabbed her key fob in case she was still sleeping when I returned since I left before the sun came up It was already alain

I knocked instead of just walking in I figured she was already awakewhere I went

At least I hoped she was

When she answered the door, I couldn’t tell if she was surprised to see ain or surprised that someone had knocked on her door

With a big grin, I raised her coffee and a bag filled with every kind of doughnut known to fucking man out in front of me

“I got us some breakfast”

She sht her expression in the air and placed it on esturing for me to come in I orried about what she would think when she saw I held all of my possessions overThe last thing I wanted was for her to think I wasin

I setdown by the sofa and made my way over to the kitchen island, where I placed her coffee and food I was about to tell her why I had all my shit with me, but the suitcase on her bed distracted me

Instead I turned around to face her and i?”

She eyedagainst the sofa

“I can’t take you with , and I don’t knohen I’ll be back I go where I’ht now I’o to Colombia”

I jerked back, shocked as shit “You’re trafficking drugs?”

“I’m an exporter/importer, Austin I’m the middle man”

“The fuck,” I breathed out, instant anger taking over “Jesus Christ Do you have any idea how dangerous that is? Who the hell would put you in the line of fire like that?”

She reassuringly shook her head and it did nothing but pissher do this

“I’ to fuck with me Trust me”

“Briggs…” I coaxed, trying to cal me

She wasn’t to blame for this and I needed to remember that

“There’s always soas I can remember”

“Then it’s about fucking time that someone took care of you Looked after you” I stepped toward her, grazing the side of her cheek “Let me be that man, let me take care of you”

“What does that even mean?” She pulled away from my touch “You don’t even know me, Austin We met once at a party, we talked and shared a joint, that’s it What are we doing here? What do you want from me?”

I was taken aback, knowing that deep down she felt what I did “Don’t pretend like we don’t have sos I can see it in your damn eyes every time you look at razed her cheek again to prove my point “Who knohere this will lead, but I sure as hell want to

find out”

I stepped closer to her again, holding her face between my hands To my surprise she let me

“I can’t stop you fro this It’s your life but I can be apart of it I can protect you”

She scoffed out a laugh “You want to be uard? Austin, I haven’t had one of those since I was fourteen,” she revealed with pain in her eyes

Just adding to her ure out for the life of me

“I’ll be whatever you want ive a fuck”

“You don’t knohat you’re saying You don’t knohat you’re getting yourself into” She leaned intodeep into my eyes and whispered, “Where’s your family, Austin? Where are your parents? I can’t do that to you I can’t do that to them”

I nodded in understanding “I don’t have anything to go home to”

“You should stay away froood for you This will only end badly… It always does” Her eyes glazed over, i with tears

“Hey…” I coaxed, pulling her toward me to wrap my arms around her

Having her in arms felt like heaven and ho I had ever experienced before As if she was made just for me

Only me

“I’ no for an answer”

She took a deep breath andto mold us into one person and murmured,

“Okay”

Chapter 17