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All lies
Every last one of them
But I didn’t stop her
I broke down until I couldn’t anymore
She toldeither She toldto be okay She told ain She toldI needed to hear It should have made me feel better
It didn’t
After she left, I sat there by eter piece of shit than I already kneas
Regret…
Remorse…
Shame…
Al Alex
I reached for the morphine drip
And pressed the button
Briggs
I jumped as soon as I heard the knock on the door The loud noise startledat anydid I held into re it to takethat ain with the second knock, asoline on the fear that had taken up residence init more
“Daisy…”
My heart dropped
The pounding rhythm immediately subsided and it was replaced with an unfa I couldn’t quite place, it didn’t scare me, but it didn’t comfort me either
“Daisy, open the door It’s me”
It’s me
He said it like it made a difference, like it took away the last few hours of my life, like he didn’t play a part in the turn of events tonight and like he wasn’t one of the reasons I was there in the first place As if saying “It’sto put a Band Aid on my soul, when it was already broken beyond repair
“Daisy, please… just open the fucking door,” he ed, his voice wrecked and torn
My feetDrawing me closer and closer to the door Before I knew it I pushed my dresser out of the way and turned the knob I instantly jerked back, assaulted with the strong scent of alcohol Esteban was leaning on the wall beside ainst the drywall, his other hand still in the air ready to knock again
It took hi his head slightly to look ateach other His eyes were bloodshot and swollen I couldn’t tell if it was fro or from the bottle of whiskey that was still firrasp We stood there for a while not saying anything Words weren’t necessary Our eyes spoke for themselves
And his spoke volumes
“I’ sorry,” he breathed out Desperation and sadness written all over his face, I had never seen him like that before
It physically pained one All that was left in his place was a iveness
“Where is he?” I asked, needing to know
“Gone For now, anyway”
“How could you do this towith fresh tears
He shook his head, averting his eyes to the floor Not able to look at me anymore
“Did you think I had a choice, Daisy? We’re more alike than you realize,” he paused to let his words sink in “This life It’s yours whether you want it to be or not It’s the shitty cards you were dealt All you can do is embrace it, because if you don’t, it will bury you alive I could have warned you I could have told you to leave I could have done a lot of things… but in the end, it doesn’t matter You’re already nailed to the cross”
I vigorously shook my head
Back and forth
Back and forth
Back and forth
“Fuck you,” I scoffed, snapping his attention back towho heard me Tears strea with my jaded heart and fucked up soul
I turned around and went back into e ofthat I had no choice, hating that this was my life now
I hated my uncle, but I hated myself even more
I bawled I sobbed so hard that my body convulsed and I couldn’t breathe The walls were crashing down all aroundin air that wasn’t available for the taking, drowning into think he didn’t even exist
I felt fingers caress the side of ht after the other I peeked up through wet lashes and blurry eyes, Esteban was on his knees in front of me
“I’
That’s when I really lost it
That’s when it really hit me
It was all a lie
No God
No family
No love
I was all alone Abandoned By myself
I treth I had left vanished He pulled , solid arms A place I was so familiar with The only comfort I’ve ever known since the day I died I sobbed uncontrollably,so raw, so dry, so torn into pieces that I would never be able to be put back together He heldlike hell to save me from myself
“Please… please…” I begged, shuddering against his chest
I wanted so the e me down, deeper and deeper into the pits of Hell
Standing right by my uncle
Where a part of ed
“What can I do?” he co his warm hands on either side of my face, to look deep intodo and I will do it, Briggs For you”
It was the first ti if I said I didn’t yearn to hear him say Daisy
I blinked away aze at the only iven a damn about me The only man who had ever been
He was all I’d ever known
“I want to be the hero of my own story, Esteban I crave to feel what they feel even for just a night, and you're the closest person who resembles affection in my life,” I half-whispered
I leaned in on pure i for soainst his, kissing hiainst his for a few seconds before he finally started to kiss me back It was the first tiined it would, a sensation like nothing I could ever describe and for a few fleeting moments it took away the pain in my heart
He shook his head, pulling away fro me back and I whimpered at the loss of his lips
“We can’t do this”
“You want to make this better? Me better? I need you to take away the bad, silence the chaos in my head Please…”
His conflicted stare never left mine as I reached for his shirt He didn’t say a word orit one by one until it was fully open I took in his hard naked chest for the first time, the contours of his abs, his tan skin that was so much darker than my white complexion
I reached for the bottom of my tank top and his hand instantly stopped me
“Daisy,” he warned in a voice I didn’t recognize
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“I know… this doesn’t change anything I’s in my ear, Esteban I don’t need you to make love to ht now”
It’s never this hard for the heroines in my books They make it seem so easy
Aret this?
I closed my eyes and pulled ave what I’d just said any it aside, I felt a chill on my bare breasts I reached forthem both aside as well
When I was fully undressed, I took a deep breath and openedas I lived It was the first time anyone had ever looked at me like that
“You’re beautiful,” he coaxed with hooded eyes and a sad smile
I blushed, not used to the praise I could sense his resolve as his eyes tooka war in his ive it any other than reaking havoc on my soul
I leaned back against the bed, bringing hiainst his chest when I felt his weight on top of nored the smell and taste of alcohol that radiated off his breath, knowing that it was i
I wanted this
I needed this