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“They believed hiht?”
She nodded “Everyone did Evento tease boys that way I left college, ended up in Portland”
“Oregon, not Maine”
SheNow I can take care of myself”
More iht No ain
“I want to tell you it’s behinddown at the chair “I haven’t I can’t i with someone”
He stared at her, digesting the e Which uy in over a decade
“I want kids,” she said quickly, aze “I’m not sure how yet IVF, adoption, there are a lot of options I want to have a family”
“You’ll be a good mom”
“You don’t know enough about me to be sure about that, but thank you for the support The thing is I know I have to be e to be a parent I don’t like it, but there we are Until I can make peace with my past, I shouldn’t take on a kid”
She paused, as if gathering her thoughts “I’m afraid I’ll pass on my mistrust of men to any child I have I don’t want that If I have a son, I want him to be proud of who he is I want hiht be difficult if I don’t get over roith the idea that it’s good to be open to love I don’t want to pass along my fear”
“You’ve thought this through,” he said slowly, thinking that Charlie was brutally honest—even with herself So he admired and respected
“I’ve thought about a lot of things Including your problem”
He frowned “I have a problem?”
“Getting accepted into the volunteer progra to take you seriously It doesn’t et past who you are and how you look”
A blunt assessment that was probably accurate
Was she relating their situations? If so, as she offering and what did she want in return? Sperm? A character reference?
“Deep breath,” she said softly
“Are you telling me or yourself?”
“Both of us” She sed “I want you to helpphysically inti screaht”
“Is that what happens?”
“I’ve only tried a couple of times, but, yes I freeze up I panic I run I can’t do that I want to be over this I want to be like everyone else”
“Being like the rest of the herd isn’t all it’s cracked up to be”
“So speaks someone who’s perfect”
“I’ of what she said slammed into him Charlie wanted hiht She wanted him to help her heal
Noas his turn to stand, but once he was on his feet, he didn’tcolor flare htly on her cheeks He saw her vulnerability, her fear that he would say no and her terror that he would say yes
“I’ more than sex,” she whispered “I don’t want to fall in love or have a relationship I just want to be nor Be in a family” She drew in a shaky breath
Clay knew Charlie well enough to understand that the one thing she would avoid at any cost was being in a weak position Yet she’d laid herself bare to hi not just her past pain, but her most secret hopes and dreams He realized he respected her, so he respected her request, even as it confused him
He was used to invitations, to nuestions ood time Nor did she want to be able to say she’d been with hihts This was real and painful
“I appreciate you not breaking into hysterical laughter,” she whispered
“It’s not funny What I want to do is find that guy and beat the shit out of him”
One corner of her uy”
“Which makes me a decent candidate for the job” He shoved his hands into his jeans pockets “None of this is expected I need to think about it”
“Sure Right It’s a lot to ask” Her grip on the back of the chair tightened
He looked at her, at the shape of her face, the slight tre like Diane, yet she reminded hih, determined She would have liked Charlie
“I’ll get back to you,” he said at last
“You kno to find me”
He nodded once and left When he was outside, he headed for his truck Honest to God, he had no idea what he was going to decide So he wouldn’t, not just now Tiht him that, too He’d learned all of life’s nificant had been how to love A skill he had little use for these days
CHAPTER FIVE
A TYPICAL DAY in Clay’s New York life had included working out at the gy with a client, a fitting for a future shoot or talking to his agent about upco party scene, Clay had usually spent evenings with friends, and he’d often been in bed well before ht
Life on the ranch was different Rafe and Heidi had left for Paris and their honeyoats Shane had agreed to take over the earlyat Annabelle’s, the work fell to Clay