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“Hey, little man You enjoy your breakfast?” I s his head into my neck I’ve become used to his little displays of affection and I’ll cos, or even touches, is so innocent and sincere It’s a reminder of e are, before life happens and takes it from us

My mother co,” she says “They are having a wonderful time in Paris, but she says she can’t wait to co toJordan here,” she adds The sadness that has taken root in ht I force myself to look away, afraid that it will stifle me

“Are you ready to go?” I ask Jordan

He s, “Yes! Go ride in Uncle Cales free frorasp He runs into the foyer and waltzes back into the kitchen, holding his backpack proudly My mother positions it on his back and he takes it as his cue to go to my truck

My mother looks at me “Cam,” she starts “Have you been to see -” I put my hand up to stop her

“No, Mom,” I shake my head “Don’t”

“You can’t avoid it forever,” she says, her botto “We’ll have to make a decision soon, and I want you to make peace b-b-before…” Her words trail off as her s with broken sobs I wrapenough to comfort her I want to say I’e anything It won’t bring back what I took from our family

My mother pulls away and looks at me “Cam, I don’t blame you and neither does Candice We never did We love you,” she says, cupping my face “Please, do it for ive yourself” I wish her pleas fell on deaf ears, but they don’t I hear them loud and clear

“Mom, I - ” I don’t knohat to say It won’t be what she wants to hear, so I try for so that will satisfy her, even if it’s te a heavy breath from my chest “I just need so and I know she couldn’t possibly understand why I need tiiveness I kiss her on the forehead and leave the kitchen Jordan is waiting patiently beside my truck and hops into his car seat as soon as I open the door He’s quiet in the back, and I can’t say that I mind Ite the short drive to the daycare center I cut the ignition and juh-pitched squeal and consequent laughter sohter, like it’s okay to smile So I do

When I walk into the daycare center, the to their eyelashes This isn’t abnoret this reaction nine tiive therin that les I try not to roll my eyes when they lean over and push their tits out in an atte provocative

“Hi, Cameron,” the one chimes “What can I do for you?”

My eyebrows shoot up at her suggestive tone and she bites her lip I have no idea who she is, or how she knows my name, but I’m almost certain she’d let me do her on the front desk if I asked I point to Jordan, still happily sitting on my shoulders “Delivery,” I say I lift Jordan over round The other woman leans over the counter and se, her nipples barely covered by her pink bra “Hi, Jordy,” she chimes “We missed you”

Jordan hides behindhere for a year so I should’ve guessed they’d know hi at girls like this is fun, but they’re trouble I’ood roll in the sheets as uy, but I know to avoid the ‘town bicycles’ Another term I learned from my best friend, Noah

“Can you tell o to?” I ask, a little impatiently

“Sure” The wo the snicker that coht down the hall It’s the third rooe to drop Jordan off without ets a little pissy but I pro practice That does the trick

I feel hungry eyes on my back as I leave and walk back out tolot renders me speechless And that never happens