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“Oh, Violet” Charlene nuzzles the beaver, rubbing her nose on top of its head “Do you sleep with his beaver?”

She’smy Waters beaver I’m a tad territorial about my presents from Alex I don’t let anyone else near the books he’s sent

“You can’t tell me that if you had a full-body pillow in the likeness of Darren Westinghouse, you wouldn’t huht”

Charlene drops the beaver on ”

“I don’t hu a point, you pervert”

“Oh Right Do you think I can get a full-body pillow of Darren?”

“I’m sure you could have one made”

I pick up the beaver and cuddle him furtively—or not so furtively—before I set him back on the bed, pet his little head, and stroke his cute buck teeth

“So what’s going on? You’re like a crack addict on a sugar high right now”

I’oing down “I have a plan for—” I’m interrupted by a knock at the door

My flower delivery guy is holding a huge bouquet of floith a Canadian flag perched bethite and red carnations, white lilies, and a bunch of other flowers confor to the same color scheht onover my shoulder

“Hi, Fred”

“How’s it going, Violet?” He seems nervous I can’t blame him The last time he was here, I was pissed off and took it out on the flowers I also made mention of hockey whores and hookers

“I’ood Sorry about last week” I take the flowers Charlene is practically piggybacking et a look at them “This is my friend Charlene”

“Hi” Charlene waves

“Hey” Fred waves back and gestures to the flowers “I guess you made up?”

“We did”

Fred nods and looks down at his feet This is weird

“Well, thanks for bringing the flowers Have a good night” I send him on his morose way

“I bet Alex would be pissed if he found out the guy who delivers his flowers has a crush on you”

I put the new bouquet in a vase “Fred doesn’t have a crush on me”