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From behind him I don’t see Caroline but I do see that stupid bitch, Tris, rhyuy, rip apart his piece She’s doing her Tris strut with her big boobs sticking out in front of her, wiggling her ass in that way that gets the instant attention of every duhly represented here tonight, NoMo notwithstanding She’s coht toward me No No NOOOOOOOOOOO How did she find out Caroline and I would be here tonight? Does she have lookouts with text pagers set up every place Caroline and I go on a Saturday night, or what?

Boyfriend to the rescue! I answer NoMo’s question by puttinghis face down toto talk to me

FUCK! I didn’t expect NoMo to be such a good kisser Asshole See this, Randy? NO MO Confir for cheirl I aue, but NoMo’s wastes no tiainst irl, steaaaady!

No irlfriend still needs a few seconds to co to catchaway fro noticed me after all

WOW I feel like in this riot of people, I have been kicked in the stoen My o back to the place it just left

Unfortunately, Tris is standing right in front of us, hanging on to her latest slobber victih now that I can positively ID him as one of Caroline’s recent rejects; he’s buddies with Hunter from Hunter, whose band, Hunter Does Hunter, is scheduled to play next (you’re welcome, Hunter, for the introduction to Lou) Tris clutches her ar out whatever reotten out of hiave him the heave-ho

Tris says, “Nick? Norah? How do you two, like, know each other?”

That bitch should not be in a club like this As if her language is not enough indication, there is also the matter of her Hot Topic mallrat outfit: short black leather skirt with buckles up the side, ings with some horrible pair of pink patent-leather shoes She looks like a neon sign bumblebee by way of early Debbie Harry rip-off

I’ to need another talk with Uncle Lou about standards vis-à-vis owning and operating a club The guy can snag great new talent—the raw, hungry kind who are ready to bleed their intestines or other useful body parts onto Crazy Lou’s stage for the opportunity to perform on it—but he doesn’t know shit about how to run this business Look at the underage Jersey riffraff he lets in! He probably even comps the beers for the band members! LOU! Why do you think so ot the s with conviction—hard, fast, angry—but they haven’t wised up yet to the fact that the real punk goes doith a straight edge: no alcohol, no drugs, no cigarettes, no skanks The real punk now is the only punk left after all the e

Well, dudes, drink up, because when I get back fro this club as Uncle Lou has pro to Brown as I proonna be a new sheriff here on the Lower East Side, my friends Have your lecherous, skanky fun now, because the clock is running out on you

I -out part is nice, it has possibilities, with the right pair of lips

I don’t knohy, but I do that thing Caroline does to herthe hand of NoMo, I place my hand at the back of his neck and scratch the nape softly, possessively, while Tris watches My fingers scan the buzz cut of his hair back there, and I feel goose bu on his neck I likee There is so Tris’s botto about Tris: She’s never subtle

Whatever I’, it works She storms away, speechless Phew That was easier than I expected

I look at my watch I believe my new boyfriend and I have about two minutes forty-five before we break up I closefor another visitation from his lips

Caroline says I a me to repeat the party line of my Evil Ex, so I clarify: You mean I’uys with a look or a comment before they can even decide if they want a chance with you You’re so judgid

NoMo must know this about me, because he doesn’t come back in for more mouth-to-mouth contact He says, “How the hell do you know Tris?”

Then I remember Tris called hiuy rote all the songs and poeoddamn boyfriend the rest of us at Sacred Heart never had, the band-boy stud Tris hooked up with afterof the school year and has lied to and cheated on ever since Does NICK not think it’s weird that he dated her that long and never once irls from her school? IDIOT!

But of course Tris wouldn’t introduce him to us She wouldn’t be worried we’d rat out her indiscretions to her boyfriend—she’d be afraid he’d fall for Caroline Tris can have Caroline’s rejects, but she’d never offer up one of her own to Caroline Tris is so Single White Fe order against her, except Tris provides us too much amusement to co we have going with her We don’t feel guilty about it because there’s only a ain after our “have a great sue” phony sentiirl debt to Tris many times over If she passed Chemistry and Calculus this year, it’s because of raduates at all, it’s because of me