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Sophia gripped the hard muscles of his arms and breathed jerkily It was finally ti, and face the consequences Veheeance and hopeless love
“Don’t,” Ross ainst his chest “Don’t, Sophia Sweetheart It’s all right”
His tenderness was too ht her way out of his arms and stumbled to the bed She sat and blindly held up a hand to keep hih it was, served to hold hie forlimmer of the tinplate lantern
“I can’t tell you if you touch me,” she said hoarsely “Just stay there”
Ross was still and silent
“You know about the months after my parents died,” Sophia said in a wretched whisper, “when John and I were caught stealing And I was taken in by my cousin Ernestine”
“Yes”
“Well, John would not go He ran off to London instead He continued to… to steal and do bad things, he…” She squeezed her eyes shut, but tears kept welling fro of pickpockets Eventually he was arrested and charged with an act of petty thievery” She rubbed her hands over her strea face and sniffled
“Here,” Ross e of her vision that he was extending a handkerchief His face was gri how difficult it was for him to witness her distress and not be able to touch her
Accepting the handkerchief, Sophia mopped her face and blew her nose Wearily she resuistrate who sentenced him to a year on a prison hulk It was an unusually harsh sentence for such a trivial criht of going to London to visit the istrate and plead with him to reduce the severity of the punishment But by the time I reached the city, John had already been taken to the hulk”
A curious nu it easier to talk It was as if she had suddenly beco enacted before her “I was in tor everyI was not so sheltered that I didn’t have some idea of what occurs on prison hulks But no matter what happened to him in that place, I promised myself that I would take care of him and heal him afterward If only he would live”
A long, eht silence passed
“But he didn’t,” Ross finally said
Sophia shook her head “Cholera The hulks were always riddled with one disease or another… it was only a matter of time before John becarave near the ship, without any stone or marker I… I have never been the same since I was told John’s death has underpinned every eht and desire I’ve had in my adult life I have lived with constant hatred for years”
“Hatred of whom?”
She looked at him then, her expression incredulous “Of the istrate who took no pity on an orphaned boy and sentenced him to certain death”
The shadows obscured leahtly leashed voice that betrayed his hideous suspicions
Sophia’s nu her as raw as an open wound “It was you, Ross,” she whispered “You sent John to the prison hulk”
Although he remained still, she sensed the treuish beneath his facade She knew that he was trying to dredge rapidly through the past, to remember one out of the thousands of cases that had come before him on the bench
The rest of the confession drained out of her like poison “I wanted revenge against you,” she said dully “I thought that if I could persuade you to employ me, I would find ways to undermine you For a while I copied parts of various files in the cri that would discredit you and the runners But that wasn’t all of my plan I also wanted to hurt you in the deepest way possible To… to break your spirit as mine had been broken I wanted to make you fall in love with me so that I could injure you in a way that you would not recover froh escaped her “Somehow all that hatred has vanished And I have failed utterly”
She was silent then, closing her eyes to avoid the sight of his face She waited for his conteer, and, worst of all, his rejection Silence fell gently around her Aching, annihilated, she waited for fate to deliver its final blow As the quiet continued, she felt al if Ross would simply leave the room and let her crumble in despair
She was not aware of anybehind her, his hands settling on her shoulders, fingertips touching the base of her throat With no effort at all, he could choke the life fro to escape the desolation that saturated her Docile and hopeless, she sed against the featherlight pressure of his fingers
“Sophia,” he said without inflection, “do you still want revenge?”
A breath clogged in her throat “No”
His fingers began tothe sides and front of her throat, drawing sensation to the surface of her skin She began to gasp beneath the life-giving touch, her head lolling back helplessly until it rested against the hard surface of his stomach Puppet-like, she could not seem to move without the animation of his hands
He spoke again “When did you change your mind?”
God help her, she could withhold nothing from him now He would strip her of all pride and leave her deciers see throat “When you were hurt,” she said brokenly “I wanted to help you… I wished that no harain Especially not fro too hard to speak A whis as she felt his warown He cupped her breast and softly circled the nipple until it tightened into a hard bud It seemed that he touched her not with the intention to arouse, but to recall the intimacy that had existed between them just a few hours earlier Heat danced over her skin, and she leaned back against hith
Ross sat on the bed and carefully turned her toward hiht with pain, as if he had suffered a body blow “I don’t knohat happened in the past,” he said huskily “I don’t remember your brother But I promise you that I will find out exactly what occurred If it turns out that I auilty of your accusations, I will accept the bla that comes with it” His hands continued to play over her breast, as if he couldn’t keep fro of you Stay with me until I uncover the truth Will you do that, Sophia?”
She nodded with a shuddering sound of assent
He pushed the wet strands of hair away fro forward, he covered her ht to think above the pounding of her heart “But the way I deceived you…” she said unevenly “You can’t possibly want me now”
“What makes you think I have any more control over this than you do?” hebody, and she shivered as immeasurable relief flooded her Ross knew the truth, and he had not rejected her This fact was difficult for her mind to encompass She buried her face in his coat, which held a trace of tobacco from the smoke-filled billiards room
He cradled her gently “Those feelings you’ve carried with you for years… it won’t be easy to let theo”