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Edward began to weep openly, the tears seeth he had left “That was the last time I saw her Anna went to France to stay with a distant cousin Later we learned that she had died in childbirth I ed to put her out of o otten that she had ever existed, you were born”
He blotted his face with a handkerchief, the strea to abate “You looked so much like her that it shocked ht it a cruel twist of fate to see her in your face, your eyes…you were a constant reminder of my cruelty to Anna And worse, you had her spirit, her way of looking at things You were my sister reborn I didn't want to lose you as I did her I thought if I could make you ination…then you would never leave me But the more I tried to mold you, theI thought I was doing for your good was a mistake”
Julia wiped a trickle of tears froe”
“Especially that,” Edward agreed in a choked voice “I thought it would leave you no choice except to become exactly what I wanted you to be But you rebelled just as Anna did You discarded your nae, and worse, you beca you…but that didn't seem to matter”
“You're right, the money didn't matter,” Julia said, her voice unsteady “All I wanted was for you to love me”
Her father shook his head, thethe wobble of a broken toy “I didn't want to love you if I couldn't change you I couldn't bear the risk”
And now? Julia longed to ask, questions hovering on her lips Was it too late for theht himself to tell her all this? She was afraid to hope that he would want her back in his life, that he ht try to accept her as he hadn't been able to in the past But it was too soon for questions For now, understanding was enough
She stared at her father, seeing the exhaustion in every line of his face His eyelids drooped, his chin dipping toward his chest “Thank you for telling e his pillows “Sleep now—you're tired”
“You'll…stay?” he ed to ask
She nodded and smiled tenderly “I'll stay until you're better, Father”
Although her father's confidences had left her too stunned to be hungry, Julia etables from a tray sent to her room She had told Eva all that had been said, and her mother had reacted without much surprise “I knew about poor Anna,” Eva had adates were inclined to talk about her Your father never told ly of his sister I suppose I should have guessed It explains so s…”
“Why did he tell me now?” Julia had wondered aloud “What did he mean to accomplish?”
“He was trying to tell you that he is sorry,” her mother replied softly
It was strange to be sleeping beneath her parents' roof onceto the subtle creaks of the house, the sound of the hipping against the s, the night noises of the countryside beyond All of it was acutely faain, and that she would wake in theprivate places to read piles of books
Staring open-eyed into the darkness, Julia saw ies of her childhood pass before her in a slow parade…her father's iron-fisted rule of the house, her ht fantasies…and as always, the shadow of Dahout her adolescence he had been the focus of her curiosity, fear, and resentment He had been an invisible burden she had yearned to cast off And when she had met him, she discovered that he was not so erously close to a betrayal of her hard-won freedom
Damon had shown her what she wouldroles on the stage, going hoht to an empty house and a solitary bed She loved him now in spite of her will to resist; how much more she could love hilement with Lady Ashton Beneath his controlled exterior Daled with questions of desire and honor and responsibility She adoals, his efforts to shape the world to his will If she had ed her life?
When she finally slept, there was no respite in her dreaes of Da her sweetly She awoke several tiing positions in the effort to get comfortable “Will you send for hi The question still plagued Julia She couldn't help wanting him…she ached to feel his arms around her However, she would not send for him She would not depend on anyone but herself
For the next three days, Julia spent endless hours at her father's bedside, helping to care for hi aloud froaze locked on her face “I'm certain you must be an acco her into silence For a man as so bitterly opposed to her career, it must have been a difficult admission “When you read, you make the printed word come alive”
“You ht come to see me at the Capital someday,” Julia said, her tone more wistful than she had intended “That is, if you could bear the idea of watching your daughter on stage”
“Perhaps,” came Edward's dubious reply
Julia s for the possibility was more than she ever would have expected from her father “It's possible you would enjoy it,” she said “I'm known as a fairly proficient player”
“You're known as a great actress,” he corrected “I can't seem to avoid every mention of you in the papers It seeossips—ht add”
“Oh, gossip,” Julia replied airily, enjoying the experience of actually conversing with him “Almost all of it is false, I assure you I lead a very quiet life in London—no affairs or scandals to boast of”
“You're often er”
“Mr Scott is a friend, nothing aze directly “The theater is his only true love, and no other passion could come close to it”
“What of Lord Savage? Your s for him”
Julia looked away, her brorinkling “I do,” she ad can co”
Edward seemed to understand the wealth of iaze reflective
“No doubt you would still like me to take my place as his wife and become a duchess someday,” Julia said
A dry laugh escaped him “As you've so clearly demonstrated over the years, the choice isn't mine to make”
“What if I have the ain?”
“No,” he said after a brief pause “I will abide by your decision, whatever it happens to be”
Gratitude welled inside her, and she found herself reaching out to hihtly over his “Thank you,” she said, her throat constricting “You'll never knohat that means to me”