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When he had held her in his arh for him
Her breath caught in her throat
She knew betterknew that the faster she left, the better off they would all be She would never have him—she could never be a true partner to him He would always be a duke, she always a commoner with a questionable history But it did not make her love him any less, even as she wished it did
She could not prove to him that she was more
But she could prove it to herself
And so she waited for her mother
She was here because of the scandal Because her mother’s actions had colored the world’s view of herfor her entire life Because her mother’s actions had made her question her own actions, her own motivations, her own desires
Because she had to know, once and for all, that blood did not out
She had to know she could be more Better Different
She had lived for too many years in her mother’s shadow; it was time for her to come out into the sun
“An odd time for a call,” Louisa said as she entered the rooh she rapped in wind She looked beautiful As usual
She sat, casting a critical eye over Juliana, taking in her gorinkled and dusty fro loose fro post “You look awful”
Juliana resisted the te to prove to her lass of sherry without offering Juliana anything
“So you have come to visit me in prison”
“Hardly a prison,” Juliana said drily
Louisa waved a hand dismissively “All these statues make me feel like I live in a museum”
“No one is forcing you to remain in London,” Juliana pointed out
“That o, darling” Juliana did not care for the endearment, so cold and casual “I don’t suppose that Gabriel has decided what to do with me?”
“I don’t think so”
“Well, I hope he does it sooner rather than later I should like to be gone frorandrow old”
One side of Juliana’s mouth rose at the complete and unbelievable self-absorption “I do not think that Gabriel has much interest in your schedule”
Louisa rolled her eyes “It is not that I am not happy for him He and his wife see childrenthe cryingthe incessant requests” She sat back in her chair “It was not for me”
“I had not noticed”
Louisa’s gaze narrowed on her “You have grown up to have your father’s bold tongue”
Juliana shrugged, knowing theadditional examples”
Louisa sighed “Well, if you are not here to bring news of ht?”
So typical Such concern for herself and no one else
Juliana did not hesitate “Do you regret it?”
Louisa was not a fool She did not pretend to misunderstand “Which part?”
“All of it”
She did not have to think about the answer “I do not regret it on the whole, no I do not regret being a h your father was less wealthy than he initially let on, and things were not always easy”
“I assure you, things did not become easier after you deserted us”
“Deserted,” Louisa scoffed “What a dramatic word”
“Would you refer to it in another way?”
“Julianait was my life And I wanted it to be lived Surely you can understand that, darling You are so obviously that way”
The casual observation sent a chill through her “What does that mean?”
“Only that one learns plenty of things when one is trapped in a town house with nothing to read but the gossip rags from the past six arden trysts and toppling vegetables and falling in the Serpentine!” Louisa laughed, a high, tinkling sound that Juliana loathed “My! What fun that must have been!”
“It was terrifying I nearly drowned”
He saved me
“Oh, I’ duke! It sounds precisely like so I would have done if I hadn’t been e and becoain, I would have been more of a scandal and less of a marchioness, that is certain”
“You were plenty of scandal, Mother, I assure you”
“Yes, but I wasn’t here to see it, darling, so it’s alh it didn’t happen,” she said as if she were speaking to a child “You, howeveryou are living your scandal”
It wasn’t true She was living the reputation that she had inherited from this woman, who seemed not to care at all for the burdens hich she had saddled her children
She was more than that
Wasn’t she?
Her iven ht have affected others “You did ithoutTo thinkyou’ve found your brothersand they care for you YesI’ve done my job”
Louisa’s self-satisfaction was undeniable Juliana could not help her laugh It was rather impossible to hate someone who seemed so utterly disconnected from her own actions
“I know you want a better reason, Juliana I know you wish there were so cleaner That would ive me But there isn’t I ain, I’ain”
“Youto leave us?”
Louisa did not speak
She did not have to The ansas in her eyes
And everything became clear
She was nothing like her mother
Juliana let out a long breath, a breath she felt she had been holding for a decade, and stood, taking in herinto the future
A different future than before
A better one
Because of aor attention, and who, once she had left, had never looked back, Juliana at last had a fah
Perhaps she could convince herself of it
Soon her brother’s house would be filled with laughing children and loving parents, and perhaps the noise would block out the ti love of her own
Perhaps there would be a tihts
When she did not love him so much
It seemed impossible
She looked to the statue again, watching as Eros stretched for that elusive thing beyond his reach
It was all she could hope for
Simon stood just inside his study, exhausted and covered in land He’d arrived at his town house in the dead of night, only to discover that all hell had broken loose while he was gone
Boggs had taken his cloak and hat, handed Simon the Gazette with an even-more-somber expression than usual on his usually-quite-so but change horses in the last eighteen hours, so desperate had he been to get back to London
And to Juliana
Siain and again, as though repeat viewings could soe them Take them away But no, every time he read the article, it was precisely the sa
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sp; First person accountDuke of Leightonhis sister, not even outin a fao
He was going to murder his sister
She’d known he would never reveal the scandal himself She’d known he’d never risk her reputation, or Caroline’s, in such a way
And so she’d taken matters into her own hands