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Every day I didEvan I didn’t want to love hi, talking, living, breathing contradiction When I ith hi theroller coaster in the world, and I didn’t want the ride to end

In bed, I did things with hiined I’d ever do Who knew I’d love getting tied to the headboard, or that using blindfolds would add to the intensity ofmy butt smacked while he took htened at the memories

Thinking about e got up to in bed dah my body Would it be the end of the world to say those three little words to him? He hadn’t said he loved me, but he acted like a man in love

I tried to convince myself that he couldn’t possibly love me because he didn’t know the real , blowjob-giving version of me I’d created

I should cos went any further, but if he knew the monster I kept inside, he would look at ust

True, I had been a stupid and gullible kid when it had all happened, but I was old enough to know better I’d held a gun to Dr Ryan’s head in front of his wife and kids My boyfriend Alex, who I’d blindly followed and had stupidly worshipped, was busy ransacking their house searching for the doc’s prescription pad I would never forgive myself

A few years ago, I petitioned to have my records sealed I’d been successful, and in the eyes of the law, it was like I hadn’t committed a crime But in my heart, I knew differently

My phone rang, shaking me from the past It was Evan He’d called et ready

“I’ll be there in five minutes I’ll come up”

“No, I’ up and down my apartuess because I’ve never been to a dance before never mind a fancy ball”

“You never went to your prom?”

No, I was in a juvenile detention facility

“Do you think I’irl ent to prom I wore black and listened to emo music in darkened rooms”

He chuckled “Why does that not surprise me? I’ll see you soon”

After we hung up, I grabbed lance in the mirror, I went downstairs