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Dropping hback and knowing that I’d be staying at the club, even for a little while Anyti hi and visiting on the compound, and then al to a hotel It was nice to catch up, but I was usually ready to go back tosurrounded by the old crew

So was different this time It didn’t feel like I was back to see some old friends It felt like I was ho time It felt natural and co shit that needed to be dealt with—al

As I stood up froure out why this trip to Eugene was so different It wasn’t necessarily because of the circu a while Any other ti to leave even if I knew I had to stay

Then, as Brenna walked by the doorway and gave a little wave, I realized what the difference was

Cecilia

It wasn’t because she was in trouble, it was because she was there Eugene hadn’t felt like home in years because Cecilia hadn’t lived there for years This was the first time ere both at the club at the same time God, I was an idiot Cecilia felt like home, especially in the middle of our family and friends, in the place where we’d fallen in love

I hurried back to the main room

Chapter 19

Cecilia

I should’ve put on s I’d learned from my o to ithout your war paint I’d taken the tiravel driveway, but as I stepped inside the clubhouse doors, I realized it hadn’t been enough I felt exposed Naked

I recognized the old, artificial holly garland draped across the bar and the biker Santa perched on top of the sound system, but the familiar Christ to calhted how long I’d been gone I couldn’t even enjoy the way the strings of colored lights aze scanned the room

“I’ ured out”

I s to figure anything out, and honestly, I wasmy t-shirt stick to my skin It wasn’t even very warm in the clubhouse They kept it cool because the te crowd of people inside one room