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“If that’s how you feel about it, I’etI can to help you, but you have to know that I’reed with everything you did, not by a long shot But I put up with it because I care about you and wanted to take care of you in spite of that If you can’t tolerate anything frorown, ht, and it’s for the best that I move out”

“Are you going back to school then?” he said, as if it were of passing interest, nothing that affected him

“I’ to wait for Luke,” I repeated

I ran upstairs and changed, shovedand carried it out withelse to say at all I’dto hide what I wanted, apologize orat all for myself

I got into his front door the same way I’d broken in last time The house was dark and empty I kicked off my shoes, switched on a laht I curled up in his chair and waited I didn’t waste h, fro spin the bottle to the way he’d told ain at the dinner after ht of it, not heavy as a burden, but heavy like velvet, like so thick and sumptuous I wanted to wrapether, ti it a secret I’d been afraid of upsetting people I hadn’t put his feelings or mine first, but what other, peripheral people would think They’d think I shouldn’t dateto upset my dad or further piss off my brother as he careened toward drunken misanthropy

Anytier buzz or the scanner alert, I knew that I could lose hi A fluke, an accident, equip in, or an explosion in one of those warehouses that could have a meth lab in it just as easily as it could store soone at anyrisked saving others, to save lives and property When I thought of the clammy earth beneath the tree where we’dhi hiuilty about I should’ve marched hi each other, and let everyone else deal with their own issues about it I didn’t have to try and e people I could make choices based on joy, not fear I’d wasted so much time

Not another minute, I swore to myself

26

Luke

The last of the paperas filed at the station I took a shower, halfheartedly, just to get the worst of the soot and smoke stink off of me I was dead onexplosive in the warehouse, but one of the cars had given us a hell of a scare Jake had to go in the aet treated for burns despite his protective equipment The cuff hadn’t been down on his sleeve and he had taken a ring of second degree burns on his wrist and ar fought him back Chief ith hi a brother suffering, a meht with pain

I was practically staggering when I got to my front door It was unlocked I paused for a heartbeat It was toofor ht But there was the lamp turned on, and there was Sarah Jo inlike the best da a man could wish for I didn’t wait, didn’t say a word I crossed the room in three strides and scooped her up off the chair where she was dozing, cheek on her hand I pulled her close and kissed her