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Why was that such a bad thing?

“You’re thinking,” Camilla said

“Yes, I am,” I said

“What are you thinking about?”

“The scenario surrounding my first time”

“I knew it! You’re considering it Tell Mama Camilla the fantasy Set it up for me I want to picture it”

She closed her eyes and propped her chin up on her hands, her elbows on the edge of the table

“I want candlelight and rose petals”

“Oh, romance That’s always a nice start,” she said

“I want soft conversation and a bit of laughter Lounging back on a bed with a glass of wine or soht pouring through the curtains Maybe a nice hotel room with a honeymoon suite option

“I want him to reach over and tuck a strand of hair behind aze into my eyes and tell me how beautiful he thinks I am, how smart and wonderful I am to him, how lucky he is to be with me”

I closed my eyes

“I want his first kiss to be delicate, soft, like he’s waiting for my approval I want it to be slow, deft I want soft kisses on my skin and my clothes delicately removed I want him to tell me how beautiful he thinks I ao slow, to understand the pain he’ll put h”

Tears rushedat rabbed ether as two slices of cake were set before us—two delicious slices of chocolate cake that went cohts

“He was a jerk, Ava Michael was an absolute jerk,” she said

“I knoe dated for a few months, but I never felt comfortable He always felt entitled to it, Cairlfriend But it was never his It was always uard it closely because I knohat it feels like to have a man think he owns you”

“I’ht?”

“He’s not worth it It was over a year ago But I carry that weight withI want to give to the right person because it seeht, not because someone feels entitled to it”

Camilla nodded as she slid her thumb across the skin of my hand