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But she would also be adether Not ever She loved Andre with everything in her, but she wouldn’t deliberately bring an illegitimate child into the world Maybe the world didn’t care anymore, but she did, and she couldn’t do that to her child Their child
And that o to Andre without some kind of birth control, because she could never have an abortion It didn’t have anything to do with her personal beliefs about a woe another woman who made different choices for her life It was just that for her it wasn’t an option—if she conceived, she would bear the child She knew that about herself, had known it since she was eighteen when she’d faced that possibility She and Andre hadn’t used anything their first night together—birth control had been the last thing on their minds back then
But she wasn’t an innocent eighteen anymore She enty-nine, and she knew better than to take that kind of risk again Then she thought, I don’t even knohat kinds of birth control are available here in Zakhar, if any Zakhar is fifty years behind the times in so many ways, maybe they don’t even sell condoms over the counter Maybe the patches, pills and shots available to women in the United States aren’t offered here, either, not to mention all the other options
She wasn’t on any kind of birth control now She wasn’t sexually active, and until Andre had reentered her life she’d had no intention of being sexually active, so she wasn’t prepared to prevent an unwanted pregnancy Unwanted pregnancy That’s a laugh If I were pregnant with Andre’s child it wouldn’t be unwanted But it would break my heart under the circumstances
No, she couldn’t go to Andre through the secret passageway until she was protected And thatuntil she could see her own gynecologist in Los Angeles And no way did she want to eeks before—
Then it occurred to her Sabrina had an ob-gyn here in Drago Juliana couldn’t be certain, but Sabrina’s ob-gyn was probably one of the few feo, but in all of Zakhar I need to get that name from Bree tomorrow, and see if I can make an appointment
Andre couldn’t sleep waiting for Juliana to coht He lay on his back in his lonely bed, watching the shadows cross the roo the tapestry against the far wall But it never moved, never so much as twitched
He’d been so sure she would come to him Why? Why were you so sure? Because of the way she’d looked at hiht at the foot of the staircase, co in her lovely violet eyes As he’d stared at her he’d envisioned what it would be like to lay his burdens down te the peace and coive hi, and rise strong, reenergized, ready to take up his burdens again And evenshe would be there always That when he needed her, she would be there, just as he would be there for her when she needed him Forever and a day
He lay in his bed waiting for her—hot, hard and aching—until the ht Until he realized she wasn’t coht Maybe she never would No, he told hiainst that defeatist attitude, turning over to find a cool spot on his pillow She loves me I know she loves me And she will come to mesomeday Someday soon She will come to me because she wants me the same way I want her She will come to me
But he was leaving Zakhar early to commitment to address the United Nations in New York, followed by a state visit with the President of the United States—neither of which could be rescheduled— before Juliana awakened, and he’d be gone for a week He’d already charged Zax with the task of personally ensuring nothing happened to her in his absence—a task Zax had accepted without de If Juliana were planning to coht after, he wouldn’t be there He had hoped—prayed—she would coht
He touched his arousal, settling hi under his breath that he couldn’t control his reaction when he thought of her, couldn’t prevent the throbbing pulse of sexual desire that invaded his bodyand his dreaoin his own palace, seeking release without her wasn’t an option He would just have to sufferand wait