page90 (1/1)

His eyes were a very clear green as they searched hers ‘I’ve scared you I didn’t mean to do that, but you wanted to know the worst And I suppose the worst is that I love you You will no doubt think ht, but I fell in love with you eight years ago and I didn’t even understand it I made a terrible irl She could have been happy with soht I wished to be after I escaped that hellish war, but with you I was co’

‘You were never boring,’ San landscape Beautiful but foreign, like a dream

He sain

‘Yes, I was, rigid, boring, trying to herd you into a corner where you wouldn’t threaten me But I couldn’t and I didn’t really want to If I had, I wouldn’t have followed you around everywhere those weeks, scolding like a pathetic mother hen I employed every excuse I could to be around you and not once did it occur to me why until you fell on top of me and knocked some sense into me when it was far too late That moment shifted my life on its axis, Sam I never admitted it, but from that moment onwards the only time you weren’t at its centre hen Jacob was born For a while I had him and I was so happy’

He looked down again and she risked her dreaether He closed his eyes

‘I wish I wish he had met you I wish he were here with us’

Saainst his chest

‘I would have loved him and loved him and loved hi with its beat His hand s the pins out of it

‘I know that, littleI could remember I wrote my first book for hi at pyraods I don’t know if he liked s’

‘I want you to tellyou wish I’ain, but I’ afraid with you And you are such an idiot, Edge It’s my fault, but you are an idiot Do you really believe I would have made the same mistake twice? I only married Ricki because you were married to Dora’

‘You don’t , isolated’ He shook his head and the war furled back in, but she held on to his hand, ready to weather this wave as well

‘I know that is how you thought of ht years ago, Edge When you told me about Dora that day you smashed a world I’d hardly even realised existed I was miserable and lonely and it was even worse when Mama and I returned to Venice I needed so desperately to be loved and I made a horrible mistake I told you I wanted a family, but that wasn’t why I proposed to you I may not have admitted toyou at Qetara I knew I couldn’t bear for you to disappear, not again I had to try’

His hand jerked in hers and the battle for and against believing her was evident in the tension that deepened the lines about his hter around his She needed him to believe her If he were to trust her, to open to her, he had to believe her

‘I was young, but not a child, eight years ago, Edge It wasn’t an infatuation, noBecause even then I knew you, Edge Down to ht of it, but I could always feel who you were behind those h walls you erected and I think you always knew it, too, even if it didn’t affect you as it did me When you left I was deterlad you were brave enough to tellinsideyou away again and I’ patient I love you so much You are the only man I have ever loved’

‘Sam God, Sam, I need this to be true’

‘Of course it is true, Edge Can you not see it? It is in every one of these drawings I have been hoarding and hiding froht when he said that I’d drawn you into my illustrations for your books even before I knew you were the author I wove you into ive me a home or children You are my home I need to be with you because I am utterly inning to believe it is the saood Rafe and Lucas and Chase interfered in our lives What do people do without big brothers?’