page79 (2/2)

The silence this tih her tale he’d pulled her on to his lap, his hands ainst her hair But she could feel the distance between the her battle from his moated castle

‘Did you go tothe other?’

She shivered, the words piercing her like a rapier

‘No, I returned to live with my mother until she died and then I went to Sinclair Hall But there was never a question of that He was married and did not love me It was all my own foolishness I told Ricki that, but it made no odds’

He breathed in very slowly and evenhis words

‘The pain of discovering you are second best doesn’t fade because the other party isn’t interested in being first It is a pain that is wholly personal’

The sting of his thrust was all the sharper because she could hear the echoes of his own pain Hebelief his brother was better loved and valued would never be uprooted by facts

‘I ht I could’

‘I’m sorry, Sam’

‘I don’t deserve your compassion Maria—’

‘Yes, you do,’ he interrupted ‘We all irl and I don’t doubt she felt it You aren’t responsible for everything, Sa to arrange the world It ’

She hiccupped back the tangle of tears burning in her throat

‘You are the one who is chasing Rafe like he is the holy grail’

‘True Sometimes I don’t understand it myself except that when I was at the ebb point in edelse When I received the letter he was dead I need to hear he is well fro to protect hiether, but we both are shaped by the same forces He is part of me Still, if the advertisement doesn’t elicit a response in a week, I’ll concede defeat and wait until he deigns to remember he has a brother who is worried for him’