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“No,” I said, frowning

“Then why can’t we be together?” He angled his body toward mine “What just happened in there tells me that you’re interested—that you feel the saot when you thought I was going to kiss you but threw you in the pool You don’t feel like that unless you want that person” His hand touched e to lean into hiood? Is that all you want out of this?”

I could’ve said yes because that would’ve shut this whole conversation down, but I didn’t “No It’s not about that”

“Then what is this about?”

Running my hand over my cast, I couldn’t believe I had to really explain this “It just doesn’t feel right We get to move on and be happy? This soon?”

Sebastian was quiet for a moment “But that’sthat’s life, Lena”

“Wow,” I muttered, floored

“What? Yeah, that sounded blunt as hell, but it’s the truth You can’t stop living just because othersothers died”

I understood that, but the thing was, he didn’t get it What I felt wasn’t just survivor’s guilt I felt more rancid More bitter “It’s not that easy”

“Yes” He curled his hand around aze to his “Yes, it is, Lena”

Exhaling roughly, I pulled away and stepped back “You don’t get it”

“You keep saying that” Frustration flared in his voice as he stared atTo understand To be patient To be there for you But you aren’t talking about anything going on in your head Not really And you keep forgetting that I’ht beside you I kno you feel”

I snapped my mouth shut as I crossed my arms

“What happened to our friends was a huge wake-up call for uarantee on tomorrow, or next year—”

“You tell me I need to move on! That I need to just deal with—”

“That’s not what I’! Not at all”

“You don’t have to say it in those exact words, but theis the same”

“Lena—”

“Ohcode-red shrill level “You’re standing here like you’re now doing everything you want to do, because you have this whole new outlook on life, and that’s crap You know that’s crap”

“That’s not crap” His voice was low

“You don’t want to play ball anyht? You told me you don’t want to do it”

His back went raht

“What about that?” My hand curled into a fist “You don’t want to play football, but I bet a year froe just because you don’t want to face your dad So don’t stand there and act like you’ve changed so rown so much, and faced all your problems head-on”

He lifted his head and ato collect himself

“This isn’t about football This is about us”

“How can you even be thinking about us right now?” I demanded “Our friends are dead They just died They’re not co laid—” I sucked in a sharp breath

The one too far

Sebastian’s eyes flared with shock and then his jaw locked down “I can’t believe you said that to me I really can’t”

I couldn’t either I really couldn’t