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Lori rose from the chair and walked to the foot of the bed “Mom, not now”

Mo that there was alcohol involved That the driver—that Cody was possibly intoxicated”

My brows furrowed together Cody had been driving? That didn’t make sense I didn’t think he’d driven to Keith’s party, because he’d talked about taking Sebastian’s Jeep, unless “Whosecar e in?”

“Chris’s,” answered Lori She folded her arms across her chest

“Andand Cody was driving his car?” None of this made sense

She nodded “It was in the news that alcohol was suspected They even mentioned the party at Keith’s house Apparently the police went there that night It’s been”

To Keith’s? I lifted ed I dropped it back to the bed Why would he have been driving Chris’s car?

Then I reotten to the party They’d believed Chris had already been drinking, and I hadn’tI hadn’t even thought about it There hadn’t even been a flicker of concern or a question of what the hell was he doing driving to Keith’s like that I’d been on with Sebastian

“Were they drinking?” Mom asked

I’d seen Cody with a drink—a red plastic cup and a bottle I re—

I wasn’t so sure if he was fine or not, but the guys were staring aton and on about the ten-piece nuggetto murder Maybe I could talk to Abbi and catch a ride hoever she was going home with, but she was in a pretty deep conversation with Keith, oddly enough, and I had a feeling she wasn’t planning to leave anytime soon There was this tiny voice in the back offro stupid

I had gotten in the car

“Mom, she doesn’t remember the accident How can she answer that question?” Lori pointed out, but did I really not remember?

Mo rapidly, and she just lost it Her face bleached of all color and she started to stand but immediately sat—fell—back into the chair “What were you thinking, Lena?”

I openedaI didn’t understand Oh God, this couldn’t be happening This wasn’t supposed to happen

“Mo back around the bed

“You got into that car That is what happened You got into that car, and that boy, they said he’d been drinking The police said they could smell it on all of you And you—you could’ve died They died” Mo her fist to the center of her chest “I love you and I aht now that you’re alive, but I’m so disappointed I raised youyour father and I raised youto never, ever get behind the wheel after drinking or get into the car when so”

“Moain So were mine

“Did you knoas drunk?” Mom demanded, her voice thready

Maybe I should drive?

“I don’t know” My voice shook as another memory poked free Seriously I’m fine I’ve driven this road a million times I knew that voice That was Cody—no, that had been Cody But it couldn’t be, because he wouldn’t have driven drunk with us in the car, because ould do that? Chris had earlier and you didn’t even care, whispered a tiny voice in the back of otten in the car I kneouldn’t have And I wouldn’t have let him drive

That wasn’t who I was

I wasn’t that kind of person

I wasn’t

CHAPTER TWELVE

The police showed up Tuesday night

And that was how I realized that it was Tuesday, three days past Saturday Three days since my friends hadhad died and I’d been asleep I’d been alive and been asleep

The cops walked into my hospital room, two of them, and icy fear pooled intofroht blue uniforms and weird hats A nurse ith them, and before they could even introduce theot about ten to fifteen ive her another round of ht now”

The older trooper re sandy-colored hair “We won’t take up a lot of time”

The nurse shot the the room

I sed as the old man introduced himself to me and Mom