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We ride to Giliberti House in silence The irony that Quinn is driving Dante’s car isn’t lost on me I can’t help but constantly feel surprised at hoell they get along nohen I know that they were on rocky terms at first
“What’s with you and Dante?” I ask as Quinn pulls into the Giliberti drive He glances over at me
“What do you mean?”
“You get along so well,” I point out “I figured that since you used to have a thing for Reece that you and Dante would butt heads”
Quinn laughs, a sound that is husky and rich in the night Even his laugh has an American accent I like it
“Dante and I are fine,” he tells me “He didn’t knohat to think of me at first, but once he realized that Reece and I aren’t a thing, he was fine He’s really easy to get along with”
“As are you,” I tell him
“Well, that’s what I’m told,” he tells me as he uncurls himself from behind the wheel He coentleman I love that, too
He opens my door and helps me from the car and then walks me up the manicured sidewalk He doesn’t dwell on the fact that I was skinny-dipping and that he bailed rateful I am So I tell him
He shakes his head again
“It wasn’t a probleain “You would’ve done the same for me”
And I would have I really would have That makes me happy Maybe I really am a bad-ass
“Why did you go to the party with Elena?” I ask him suddenly, before I lose my bad-ass nerve He looks startled
“Because she asked o with Gavin?”
I shake my head “I didn’t I ith Reece and Dante”
“But you went skinny dipping with Gavin,” Quinn reminds me
“That was justimpetuous,” I tell him
He stares down atup at his neck
“Well,to the party with Elena was impetuous, too”
He’s still staring atin the doorway of the house, each of us hesitant to open the door and end this conversation The whole mood feels like an open-ended sentence And I want it to keep on going
With Quinn
“I don’t knohat I’m supposed to want,” I admit to him His eyes are like liquid chocolate as he assesses me He seems pensive
“Well, you’re the only one who can figure that out,” he finally tells ht
“I’m just so confused,” I murmur “And I hate that”
“Well, tiny tot, don’t stress soit out,” Quinn says “When you’re ready, the ansill be clear You’ll knohat you want”
“I will?” I ask I watch his lips as he speaks
“You will,” he assures me “Trust me”
And as I picture his strong ar me out of the sea while I rapped in his shirt, I know that I do
I do trust him
It’s a good feeling
Chapter Eighteen
I see a side tothat I wish could have stayed locked in my lost memories She’s so furious about the pictures taken of ht that she looks like she could just spit
In fact, she accidentally does spit on ry words I wipe it away and patiently listen to her tirade
And as she says so her and my father, a memory slams into me
You’re an embarrassment
I inhale sharply as a fewback I see a few faces and i nauseous and overwhelmed in a sea of emotion
“We fought that day,” I whisper My knuckles are white as I fist them in my lap My mother looks at me from my bedroom s
“What?” She is startled now
“The day of the earthquake You told ht and I left I was supposed to have been inwith Gavin”
“You remember?” she asks, her face pale My mom is a small woman, and she looks severe today with her dark hair pulled into a tight chignon at her neck I nod
“I re”
“You’re right,” she sighs “It’s soht that day You had your nose pierced I wanted you to take it out so that you didn’t embarrass your father You refused Then you left”
“And when I was in a co out and colored my hair,” I say calmly She nods wordlessly
“Why?” I ask I feel lih I knohat she did I need an answer now Am I really such an ee me when I wasn’t even conscious?
“Because we had to,” she answers sie But I see now that it’s not going to happen You’re going back to your old ways and there’s nothing I can do about it”
“My old ways?” I raise an eyebrow and try to forceto boil and that’s not a good sign “Just because I see life differently than you do, doesn’t id about trying to force me into the mold of a person that I’m not, maybe you would see that”
“We’re not trying to change you,” e your behavior You’ve got to realize that a mature person has to sometimes act in ways that they would rather not, simply because of their position in life You have to act respectful and mature because of your father It’s just the way it is”
And all of a sudden, I see her point
I don’t knohy, but it’s like a revelation
An epiphany
Maybe Gavin was right and I can still be who I am, but I don’t have to announce it to the world Maybe I should fall into rank and do what is expected of me At least part of the time It wouldn’t hurt me and it would make my life easier I can do what I want on the side, but still do what my parents want Then I wouldn’t have to butt heads with them