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Niall pretends to faint onto the top of his desk, and the audience breaks out in hysterics

Welcoht’s main freak-show event!

Good God, ould’ve thought being a virgin would stir so ht having affairs or buying hookers have received less scrutiny than this

“How…and I say this respectfully,” the asshole host says ironically without any inkling of respect, “is that possible?”

Fed up with this bullshit Tired of playing it so damn nice I decide to pull ressive sarcasm out of my back pocket and put them to work

“Well,” I reether” The audience laughs, Niall’s eyes go wide, and I lean in closer to his desk “It takes a real sixth sense, if I’enuine, virtual radar system for the male member and their locations at all times Are they soft? Are they hard? Will they threaten me in some way if I stay in my current location? Once I have the answers to those questions, I’m ready to plan an attack Weaponry Troops Optics It’s all very scientific”

Niall’s smile transfor with me, Raquel”

I s

He chuckles “There are millions of men who’d love to be toyed with by you, my dear Tellto have to get laid, right?”

Annoyance niggles deep in ht andblink sneak in on the off chance that it gives me away

Instead, I settle sly into the supple leather of the couch and siven the need for a penis to complete the act—and your obvious lack of one—I know for a fact it won’t be you”

Ha How ’bout the Beans?

Once the words leave hter, you’d think I’d feel victorious You’d think I’d feel on top of the world for putting the bastard in his place while stillover the past decade

But I don’t

If anything, I just feel like running

From this prick

Froer, entire damn team

Froht