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Since that night I’d seen therocery store where I’d seen them before they noticed me and had tried to maketoo loudly and had begun clinging onto hi in my direction

He hadn’t seen me, but I knew from his expression that this was a new act for her I looked away, not giving her the satisfaction of knowing that I’d seen her actions I just paid for s and headed out the door

The next ti out of the house to go to one of the neighbor’s ho when their fa way too slow Our eyes h I’d stolen her most prized possession

So you can i for their kids I agreed even though I kneas foolish, but I needed to play out this farce and put it behind me The love I bore Derrick will stay hidden inside me forever, I’d decided

I’ll throw o away to university and then spend the rest ofto heal the bruised and broken hearts of the young I think I will be good at it I have first-hand experience with that particular hell

LAUREN

It was getting to me Like ants beneaththat she was just around the corner, that she was even breathing wasirrational, I could see the truth in Derrick’s words when he told s out of proportion, but deep inside there was soly that I had no control over

I hate that she ever looked at him with love, and it doesn’t matter that she was just a child when it happened I’ve questioned Derrick ceaselessly, but his answers have all been less than satisfactory

He plays it off as nothing, just an innocent crush froo, so why didn’t either of the they shared with each other that I was left out of, me, his wife, the mother of his children

I hated even more that she was not only beautiful but also smart and rich as well I’d learned from some of the other wohborhood, as was evident by that mausoleum they lived in

I hate her face, I hate that condescending attitude of hers and that she way she has of looking through you when you’re right in front of her like nothing phases her, nothing touches the little princess on her pedestal

It got so I hated to hear her nahther praises, and I was dying to tell the that that o over so well

I was the new kid on the block after all, and she’d had years to build up her reputation It’s a farce, a lie, a stinking façade she wears to fool the world I know she still wantsoff the phone with her and could hardly recognize the wo back at me

She looked wild and unhinged When’s the last tiot my hair and nails done? It’s funny, but since I started feeling like a frump compared to her, I’ve lost all interest inwill that last?

Maybe I need to see someone Soirl A from postpartum depression? I doubt it I’d been fine after the tere born It’s only after she ca this way

“Lauren, where are you?” Derrick came and stood in the bedroom doorway “You okay?”

“Yes, I’ht enough to fool hi out,” I told him as I pulled my sweater off over my head and walked towards the bathroom

“We are, where are we going?”

“Out, li me unravel? Had he seen beneath the surface into the darkness that had opened up inside me? Why do I feel so out of control?