page45 (2/2)
He didn’t even look especially concerned as the three hu, plus a royal heir in utero, ca events went, the Chankly Bore was a corker The vieas sublime Janet wondered if someone had planted the trees on the tops of the hills or if they’d just grown like that
Actually the entity most likely to know the answer to that question was ten yards away and closing As she ca to bolt the moment she came too close His stupid woolly face was impassive
“So,” Janet said, breathing hard from the climb, hands on knees, “did sorow like that?”
“Do you like them?” Umber said “They’re Mine of course My brother did the hills, though I don’t think He meant to leave them like this I’m sure He planned to scatter them about artfully later on, here and there He liked to create the appearance of deep geological history But I said, ‘No, no, they’re wonderful just as they are’ And I put a single tree on top of each one, and they’ve stood like this ever since From the First Day
“One of theain—that was how He laughed, it turned out How incredibly annoying and affected “Don’t kno she did that A marvelous facility, that witch has”
His enteel, a little distracted, a little a any clothes He would have worn a bow tie and a purple waistcoat She couldn’t tell if He was sort of lofty and above it all or just a bit dotty
But it didn’t matter because either way theto tell the pieces, and then they would knohat to do to ain—oh God, she realized, how she wanted it to live! She didn’t want to go back She wanted to stay a queen!
Another case solved After all that urgent chasing Janet suddenly felt like she had all the ti on the horizon, like a livid bruise just starting to show
“You seem different from Your twin brother,” she said
“From who?”
“Your brother? Ember? Your twin?”
“Oh! Oh” He had a bit of a selective deafness thing going on “We’re just fraternal”
“We thought You were dead”
“Oh, I know!” Whinnying laugh U its tail, such was His pleasure “But I was just pretending Martin wanted it that way Such a strange boy Never came out of the Oedipal phase, I don’t think He was always talking about hisif his father was alive, that sort of thing
“But of course You can get so much done when everyone thinks You’re dead No interruptions No one prays to a dead god, ould they? Though I did spend a while in the Underworld Not that I had to, but I was getting into the spirit of the role They wanted Me to be the lord of it, the dead did, but I wouldn’t Iod of the Underworld! I rand More like, I don’t know, a visiting research fellow
“But I did enjoy My ti! I could have stayed forever, I truly could have
“And then I spent a few years as E around under His feet He never kneould have thought it would be obvious, with My name But you know, Ember doesn’t think that way He never did He’s very literal about things”
“But ould You do it in the first place?” Poppy was frowning and shaking her head “I , but ould You turn Martin into the Beast?”
A deep sigh froolden eyes to the turf
“That turned out very badly Very badly He wanted it so ood for him But in the end I was so disappointed in Martin—his behavior Disgraceful Do you knohat it was about Martin? He had no self-control None!”
“I would say that yes, that turned out extremely badly,” Josh said “Not a lot of winners there”
“Not even Martin, in the end,” Umber said sadly “Poor boy He wanted so terribly to stay here He never stopped talking about it And he was very brilliant I couldn’t say no, could I? I wanted to give hiive everybody what they want! But then the things he did He gave up his humanity, you know, in order to stay here in Fillory He sacrificed it to Me, and there’s a great deal of power in that Even I was surprised at how ot out of it
“But then would you believe it, it was the best part of him! The rest of hi—he really ht have killed Me if he could have found Me Then later he said he did, and I let it stand It’s disappointing” U Hie the rules because of it That’s why We let you lot stay, you know We don’t send the kings and queens home anymore”
“But why did you take it?” Josh said “I mean his humanity?”
“Well—” And the raain, this time coyly erass “I suppose I had a notion that if I possessed Martin’s hu, youbeing dead so much, I haven’t even tried!”
This conversation wasn’t going quite the way Janet had thought it would She didn’t expect to like Umber, but she hadn’t expected to hate Hi-supervillain type That she could relate to But U responsibility for things She may have been a bitch, but at least she copped to it
“This is all really fascinating,” she said “Truly But it’s not actually anted to talk to You”
“Isn’t it?”
“Which by the way,” Josh said, “since we’re talking, why did You sort of run away just then, and then stop running away?”
“Oh!” Uht you’d like that Bit of a chase Wasn’t that what you wanted?”
“Not really, no,” Janet said
“Though I did like the part when I saved everything,” Josh said “That was good You knoith the portal”
“There!” Umber said “You see? And you needed the exercise too”
This had the effect of canceling out Josh’s triumph Poppy patted his arm
“Well, whatever,” he said “Look, what about this apocalypse thing? End of the world How are we going to stop that? That’s Your thing, right?”
Umber actually looked wounded
“The apocalypse? Oh, no That’s not one of Mine”
“It’s not?” Janet said “Wait”
“Goodness no Why would I do that?”
The two queens and the king looked at each other So a little inside Janet Oh yes—hope That’s what people called it
“But if You’re not—?” Poppy said “Then how are we going to—?”
The astonishment was plain even on Umber’s inhuman face
“Stop it? You can’t think I would know! I don’t think you can stop it Hoould you stop an apocalypse? It’s just nature It happens by itself”