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“I didn’t want to be vulnerable again When Bree died it hurt soso e anyone again scared ain—that I didn’t deserve to”

“Everyone deserves love,” Alexis said softly

“I know that now” He drew in a shuddering breath “For so long I was angry—felt so helpless I hated having choice taken from me the way Bree did when she didn’t tellthe risks, she believed she’d get through Ruby’s birth okay or whether she had soht it would be worth it regardless, but either way she made choices that should have involved ainst everything we’d promised one another, and if I couldn’t trust her anymore, how could I trust anyone?”

Raoul leaned forward, his elbows on his knees and lifted one hand to his face, rubbing at his eyes

“When Ruby was born I was too afraid to let myself love her At first she was so ill that the doctors said her survival was touch and go, especially in the first few days Even after she battled past that, I wouldn’t letfor her She was so vulnerable, so dependent I knew nothing about babies, nothing about being a father We were supposed to have done all that together, Bree andfor her, alone, made me sick with fear”

“You would have had Catherine, your friends, your extended family,” Alexis reminded him

“I know that now, but I couldn’t think rationally then And there was soust “I resented her Can you believe it? I resented hter because her mother had chosen Ruby’s life over her own Rather than see her birth as a gift, I saw it only as a burden So, instead of stepping up to nored theBut then it beca the way they always had The randht have to assuations toward her as her father, any opportunities to fail her, hurt her or lose her”

“Ruby’s lucky to have Catherine in her life,” Alexis said, not hter “She could have done worse”

“Yeah, she could have been forced to spend all of her first nine months with a father who saw her as a constant reminder of his failures as a husband and as a father Every ing her around fro dreams for a family had taken her mother fro that happened”

Alexis shook her head “You’re taking rather a lot on yourself You weren’t the only one involved here”

“It seemed like it at the time Unreasonable, I know Self-centered, definitely I put myself in a loop where every day would be the same ork as my panacea,through theonly half a life”

“Until I arrived?”

“You made me remember what happened the first time I saw you, the way youreed that froht just pulsing armth And you wouldn’t take no for an answer”

Alexis frowned, re when she arrived at the winery “The first time you saw meyou mean back in April?”

“No, I mean the very first time There were sparks between us the day that we met, when Bree introduced us I know you felt them, too It’s why you pulled away from Bree, wasn’t it?”

“Yes,” she whispered

Alexis closed her eyes in shame He’d seen the way she’d felt about him even then? Did that mean Bree had seen it, too?

“I loved my wife, but for some reason I couldn’t help but be attracted to you, too When you ca back with you It leftthat you’d roused e myself for what I saw as a betrayal of Bree”

His voice cracked on his words,Alexis’s heart squeeze in eht words to say Raoul turned to her, his face a tortured mask of pain